21 Of The Worst Days Of My LifeI'm lost right now. He cut me off without a word or a real legitimate reason. Three years and he could just walk away. One of the most brilliant, romantic, considerate, handsome, compassionate, my God I can go on and on. He could love me in a way I have never experienced before. I was so grateful to be his, to be a part of his life, and to feel his love. Then apparently it stopped. Long distance is tough and lonely, compounded with other problems makes it nearly impossible. Yesterday I hit my breaking point. He broke me. I don't know if he hates me or not, and some days I can hate him just as much for wasting my time, and making me feel and believe that I found my partner for life. I finally gave up. No more hope. He's showing me in many ways without words that I truly don't matter and furthermore that I never did. I cry multiple times everyday, at times inconsoleble. My world has come to a screeching halt, I can't focus on anything. Talk about a world blown apart. So mad that I allowed someone to have that much power over my life and to be able to blow it apart. He gutted me for the world to see and left a shell. My spirit is broken and the light has gone out. I adored everything about him, and all I wanted to do was love him. But what can you do when someone won't love you back. I'm left holding this bag. Tomorrow is without promise or direction. I lost my best friend and love and my job within a month of each other. If I had known I would be in this much pain I would have walked the other way when I encountered him. I could go on and on in my sea of sorrow. I am forever changed by the actions of a selfish, self serving person, who wasn't honest about who he was and whose actions left me exposed, devastated and not reparable. I was with someone who the only way I can describe it as evil. I didn't deserve what and how he did it. God help me.
pprrnnccffaann11 41-45, F 6 Responses 3 Jan 15, 2013