21 Of The Worst Days Of My Life

I'm lost right now. He cut me off without a word or a real legitimate reason. Three years and he could just walk away. One of the most brilliant, romantic, considerate, handsome, compassionate, my God I can go on and on. He could love me in a way I have never experienced before. I was so grateful to be his, to be a part of his life, and to feel his love. Then apparently it stopped. Long distance is tough and lonely, compounded with other problems makes it nearly impossible. Yesterday I hit my breaking point. He broke me. I don't know if he hates me or not, and some days I can hate him just as much for wasting my time, and making me feel and believe that I found my partner for life. I finally gave up. No more hope. He's showing me in many ways without words that I truly don't matter and furthermore that I never did. I cry multiple times everyday, at times inconsoleble. My world has come to a screeching halt, I can't focus on anything. Talk about a world blown apart. So mad that I allowed someone to have that much power over my life and to be able to blow it apart. He gutted me for the world to see and left a shell. My spirit is broken and the light has gone out. I adored everything about him, and all I wanted to do was love him. But what can you do when someone won't love you back. I'm left holding this bag. Tomorrow is without promise or direction. I lost my best friend and love and my job within a month of each other. If I had known I would be in this much pain I would have walked the other way when I encountered him. I could go on and on in my sea of sorrow. I am forever changed by the actions of a selfish, self serving person, who wasn't honest about who he was and whose actions left me exposed, devastated and not reparable. I was with someone who the only way I can describe it as evil. I didn't deserve what and how he did it. God help me.
pprrnnccffaann11 pprrnnccffaann11
41-45, F
6 Responses Jan 15, 2013

He messages me often. He has apologized for hurting me. But he can't face me. He can't even talk to me on the phone because he is not ready to deal with it. I love him but am going on with my life. Sometimes I take two or three weeks and don't contact him and he reaches out to me. I just can't make him a priority. Still healing but going out once in awhile. Hoping for a better 2014. I hope you all are too, thanks so much for the supportive comments.

It is a year since you have written this story. I hope you are much stronger now. If only we knew how things would work out. But, life can be very cruel.

I'm so sorry. More than half a year has gone by. I wonder how you are now. I think sometimes we never get to understand. But someone who hurts you like this is already hurt to begin with-from before you. Where there isn't love there is fear. Pity him.

Thank you. We are communicating via text and e-mail. He is still struggling. But I have decided I want him in my life even if just as a friend. It still hurts and I don't have all the answers. Hard to pity him when I love him. All things in time.

Good luck and so sorry you are feeling in pain. Hope things get better for you.

I went thru that experience (5 years together then 2 min phone call)...It gets better but not quickly in my experience...There were some great gifts to be had eventually once the pain went to merely miserable...Good luck...

Very sorry to hear about your pain. I find it really horrible when someone just walks away without having any consideration for the other person by at least telling them first. It is an immature act, they are afraid of the confrontation, and it is pathetic. So sorry to hear you are going through such a rough patch. I know it feels llike it will never get better, but it will.

thank you