I Can't Beleive I Dated This Guy

I think I have been single way too long!  I don't know....I've been divorced for 10yrs. and was in a 7yr. long relationship and every since that ended I cannot for the life of me find anyone I want to stay in a relationship with.  I am so over my ex.

The latest man I dated which I met on match.com seemed to be this great guy!  We just hit it off right off the bat and the chemistry was great!  I actually thought this could be it and I think I can fall in love with this man.  We have known each other for 3mths..  Several weeks ago though I came home from work and found him in my bed passed out drunk and I mean his eye balls were rolling around in his head!!!  He was so drunk he couldn't even talk.  I never in my life experienced anything like this.  I really fell for his story of being so stressed about his job, etc....For a week we worked through it.  Next thing I know the guy goes to a heavy metal concert with his friends and stays on this binge of drinking for 2 days and called in sick to work.  I was shocked!!!  I told him to take a hike!  He begged and pleaded with me to forgive him and promised he would never drink that whiskey anymore.  He seemed so sincere.  He did begin to act more responsible over the following week.  Then in our conversations he starts saying he doesn't want me to be his sugar mamma.  I ask him to elaborate and he says I have so much more than him and make 2 times the amt. of money he does.  He says he doesn't want me to think he wants money or material things from me.  I told him I wasn't planning on giving you any money so why are you saying this.  He dropped the subject.  Well my son gets out of the military and comes home.  This guy instantly disliked my son and started making ****** comments to me about my son who just did 4 deployments to Iraq in the last 5yrs..  This guy had no appreciation for any of that.  My son is a nice person and was trying so hard to be patient with this mans mannerisms.  Now I'm arguing with the guy over my son!!!  I was just on the verge of telling him to take a hike and he suddenly started being nice to my son.  Well my son felt it was fake and called him on the carpet!!!  This guy fessed up to my son that he was enjoying his time with me without him around and asked my son when he was getting his own place!!!  My son said if you don't get out of my moms house now I am going to whip your ***!!!  My son was ready to fight him.  I intervened and patched it all up.  My son went about his business and no damage done.  Me and the guy go about ours but he is still talking **** about my son.  I went and met his family this past weekend and felt it was so important because I had been struggling with what to do about this guy.  His parents and sister are great.  Very normal people.  I had a good time talking with them.  Well after that visit we go out to this casino and guess what he forgot his wallet at home.  Guess who paid for everything?  Me!!!  He had absolutely no problem gambling my money away.  At the casino he kept going to the bar and getting bacardi and coke, I drank coffee.  Well we left and I lost alot of money!!!  My fault I know I shouldn't of given him one cent!  Of course we were driving my car and I was driving because he lost his liscense to a DUI.  It was a long drive back to my house and on the way back he ask me to buy him dinner at carls jr. and after I bought him his 10.00 dinner and were back on the road he ask me to stop and buy him a pack of cigarettes!  So I bought him a pack of cigs.  What am I suppose to say???  After we get back to my house he finishes his dinner.  It's now 2am.  As I am closing my eyes he jumps on me from behind and starts having sex with me!  I was like what the hell???  It was like bam wham he was done!  After he cleans himself up in my bathroom he lays back in my bed and lights up a cigarette and says "I wish I never would of gotten a divorce, it still hurts so bad"  "I didn't want the divorce and that's why it hurt so bad"   I roared up and said get out of my bed, sleep on the couch cause your car won't start with the wilson cause you have had alot of alcohol.  He refused to go to the couch and so I chose my battle and just closed my eyes and went to sleep.  The next morning I woke up with a fever and sore throat!  I couldn't even talk!  He didn't even care at all!  He said stop whining and take some tylenol.  He then was going to make him breakfast and I went in the kitchen and stopped him and told him to leave now.  He then started apologizing and saying I love you so much and please don't do this again we have such a good thing.  I very firmly said if you don't leave I am calling my son.  He very slowly packed his stuff up and left.  He was moaning and groaning the entire time but I didn't care at all. 

After all that crap in a short amount of time I can't beleive I even allowed such a man into my home, into my life!!!  I feel sick about it that I allowed him to totally take advantage of me like that!!!  I was lonely when I met him because I hadn't dated for like 6mths..  I think he sensed that and he ran with it!!!  This guy proclaimed he was falling in love with me but his actions didn't show it. 

My lonliness allowed me to make a bad decision about a man.  The man drives an old beater and I don't mean that in a bad way but he is well into his 40's!  I couldn't even bring myself to drive in his car because he had to blow into this thing just to start the car and then while he is driving he has to blow in it like every 10-15 min..  The car handles don't even work and you have to reach outside the car to open the doors!  We drove my car everywhere!!!  I have a BMW convertible!  He hated my dogs, very jealous of my son, drank himself to an oblivion, spent my money, ate my food.  He never once contributed anything except when we went to happy steak last week.  He said he was gonna pay and had me stop at an ATM for him to get money.  Well when we got to happy steak and went to pay he then told me the ATM wouldn't give him any money and he only had $25.00 and it had to last till payday on the 20th!!!  I fricken paid!  what else was I to do???  He has promised to pay me back but what are the chances of that? Zero.....

I have never dated a man like him and never will again.  I am way to old for this!  My father would kill me if he knew I allowed this! 

I broke it off with him last night and feel really good about that decision!!!  He has done nothing but call and leave tons of messages!!!  I have turned off all phones for the night.  He is begging me to reconsider cause we have something so special and he loves me so much. 

Oh my god when I go back and reread this I get totally sick to my stomach!  I can't beleive how stupid I was and it was all because of my lonliness!  Man I will make sure I never get that lonely again!  And thank god I never introduced him to my parents!!! 

Thanks for listening to my boring story but it's all real in my life right now!!!

casey63 casey63
2 Responses Apr 14, 2009

thank you highfrequency. I'm sorry you went through that with your moms boyfriend. I know how my son felt and it wasn't good. My son was going to fight him. I am done with that loser. I learned alot from this experience and won't be so vulnerable the next time. Take care

that good you broke it off with that guy. no girl should ever go through that especially with a freeloader. its okay were human everyone makes mistake but you learned. love is blind and with the drinking i went through that situation with my mom bf taking crap about me and my brother. you don't ned to be with that loser.