He's Frustrating And Confusing

I've known this guy, richard, for about a year now. I met him last year in august. Last year we got together september fourth and we stayed together for 8 months. I fell in love wit him and he wit me, we made future plans and we were completely in love. i helped him thru his major issues that he had an we got closer for it... In april of this year i got a call from his other girlfriend saying that she was thought we'd broken up along time ago and that she was at his house right now and she found out bout me and she asked richard to choose between me or her. he chose her. a couple months go by and we still talk and text and gravitate toward each other like freakin crazy and finally i ask him why he chose her over me... he said it was 1. because she 'gets him' more than me and 2. because she was already there and i wasn't... i let that sink in and i asked him 'ok so if i'd been there wen she asked you to choose who would you have choosen?" and he said he would've choosen me... ok great, yay... we keep talking, and flirting and basically we act lika couple (and me lika home wrecker) until i get tired of it cause i feel used and really pathetic so i say "you need to figure out who you want to be wit' (cuz this entire time he's said he loves me an wants to be wit me, an that his gf is annoying him) so that same day ne broke up with her and said 'im not going to be with anyone' time goes by he gets wit yet another girl, my heart shatters, and then his ex-ex from b4 texts me an says 'stay away from richard' cause they're still together rite? and now im like wtf??? so i text the girl richards with now and tell her, she breaks up with him and blah blah blah... me an him are still talking and flirting and he says he wants to get bak together (which is what i want too) but i say no we'll wait until school starts bak up (this was the last day of school) and we'll use vacation to figure out if 'us' is wat we truely want. and i told him straight out: 'i will not go thru the **** you've put me thru again, if we get bak together i expect to hava ring on my finger by the end of the school year' and he said 'ok im serious bout this too'.. So now its been bout a month and a half since that convo and his ex-ex came up AGAIN a few days ago.. i actually went to his house and said 'you told me you weren't together and im trusting you on that but im verifying.. she obviously thinks you guys are still together and there must be some reason for that.. hav you guys been hanging out or wat???' and he confessed to texting her from time to time... ok fine... now here i am sitting here wondering if my seventeen year old self is putting myself thru more **** and drama than need in my life or if this is all a test of fate and we're supposed to go thru this together to make us stronger in the end... wen i think about our future it doesn't feel lika naive fantasy it feels real.. something that could happen if we jus work thru this.. i love him more than anything and i still see a future wit him even after all he's put me thru... i cant believe i could ever love anyone this much.. but i do..
VixenHeart VixenHeart
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 10, 2010

My dear young lady, he is playing all of you and enjoying the attention. Who is the one person at the center of all of this causing the pain and confusion? It is him and you all are allowing his bad behavior by continuing to feed his ego at your own emotional well being. Cut him loose for you deserve better. He is not going to change so your option left is to change yourself and your feelings. It is hard when you love a person to let go of hopes and dreams but ask yourself something. What do YOU deserve? Respect? Honesty? Faithfulness? He has none of these positive qualities and no man who loves or even likes women would act like this.