The Past Will Not Be Different.

When I read, "the past will not be different" my first thought was, "That's stupid, of COURSE it won't." Then I realized I really WANTED it to be different and used a lot of energy wishing for the impossible. It was what it was. There was pain and loss back there. I decided to not deny, rationalize or minimize it, but rather to turn and look it in the face and grieve and get it over with. 

I wrote down how a moral contract was broken, who was responsible, and chose to forgive and go on. It was painful, but healing. It really happened. It really was bad. Someone was really to blame.

It was what it was.

czaja czaja
56-60, F
2 Responses Jun 1, 2010

I recommend a book called Forgiving the Unforgivable. It's hardest when it's someone close, because a moral contract has been broken. <br />
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The truth will set us free, after it makes us mad or sad. We can't minimize what happened and tell the truth. Forgiveness is spoken of in accounting terms in the Bible-someone truly owes you, you probably won't get paid, and will you choose to cancel the debt? Only the strong can forgive and we do it for ourselves. We also don't "forget" or trust the contract breaker. We just choose to cancel the debt (which we can never collect anyway.) Very hard work.<br />

Je'.the words you wrote were intriguing to me, especially the part about a moral contract being broken. Those words definitely describe something that happened to me. The event served to cremate my very hard earned career and broke apart the relationship I had with my children. I cannot tell you that I have actually done what you did. . .but it did give me a different perspective on a situation that I really have not been able to put in the past.