Moving On

Where where where do I begin?
I've made a lot of mistakes. I've allowed myself to be abused physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, it's horrible! I was so insecure! I was told growing up that i was ugly for so many reasons and I just wanted men to love me! I became so bitter, so negative, so fearful, so unsure if I was deserving of love and the other good things in life. I let so many negative elements project onto me and as a result I hid my beauty from the world. I seriously went through a phase where i was terrified of men! REALLY terrified! "Who would love me? All I deserve is to be someone's second choice" and I settled for that. I've hurt myself in so many ways and in retrospect, I realize that I also hurt others because of it. I can't change my past, but I can change my future. I know better now.
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26-30
1 Response Jul 17, 2010

Thanks you for sharing.<br />
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You are deserving of love and kindness and you are not second best. You are a special person who has alot to offer this world. <br />
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Why do you say you allowed yourself to be abused? A child is never ever responsible for abuse. No one allows it. It happens without an invitation. Please stop blaming yourself.<br />
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Suriviors of abuse hold not one ouce of the blame. Take care.<br />
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P.S. Thansk you for having the courage to speak out.