I Feel Like Committing Suicide Again.

I'm writing this because i'm scared, i don't know what to do. They say take things one day at a time but "one day" seems too long. i struggle to take one minute at a time.i can barely move from one minute,literally to even 24 hours. The funniest thing about where i'm at right now is that i don't even remember when or how i got here.
i'm trying to figure out why God kept me alive to somehow believe or convince myself that i'm here for a reason. I took an overdose of nearly a hundred pills and was in a coma for several days. To this day i wonder why i'm alive, although it's been just three months. Now i'm back at square one.
I've researched depression and the main cause seems to be a chemical imbalance in the brain but i believe it's just like  the scientists who  would rather explain that somehow man evolved from monkeys than they would believe that there is a somehow a possibility that depression can be caused by a significant amount of stress over a period of time. 
i know that this chemical imbalance is possible and i'm not ruling this out but how can it be that when i'm "normally" happy in my life this depressive state does not occur. you see i live alone although i have a child. my friends are limited because of my bad experiences with them in the past and i only have one living relative that i can rely on all the others are well you can say dead to me.  depression is not necessarily caused by an imbalnace but by mere accumilated bad experiences.i'm 23 and i feel as if tomorrow will never come.
There are times when i can no longer tell the difference between my dreams and reality because i sleep so much to forget the hard cold reality that when i'm awake all i think of is curling up in bed so the day can quickly run off. I would say that i'm beautiful and i'm not tooting my own horn but yet still i'm always on the side of getting my heart broken. I know what your thinking you're too gullible, it's your choice in the opposite sex, perhaps you need to look somewhere else, give it some time, your time will come, you're young .......the list goes on and on. I know all this but when does the light shine .
I'm so depressed that i pray to God so that i can realise that there will be a tomorrow, that this isn't the end. I know that i see only today and not tomorrow and that i don't know what will happen  tomorrow. I know that faith without works is dead but how much more can the human spirit take before breaking to the point of no return .
I'M SO SCARED TO EVEN LEAVE WORK TO GO HOME BECAUSE I KNOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP OR EVEN IF I TRY TO I'LL CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP BEFORE I WAKE UP 2AM TORMENTED BY MY THOUGHTS UNTIL AROUND 7AM............HELP!!!!
everydayiwakeupinadream everydayiwakeupinadream
22-25
Aug 4, 2010