First Song I Ever Wrote... Comments Please?

X___Pity__X
That side is not one to debate.
I'll sure give you something to hate.
No drugs could cure me, so i'll remain pure you see.
What else do i have to breathe for?
Don't have the breath to walk out that door.
So I will smile one day, and i'll cry the next.
Which one do you like best?
(chorus)
Take your pity off me
Close your eyes and you will see
It's not the first thing on my list!
Red pen checks off the lies, what a horrible disguise.
Well if the damn shoe fits.
What do you want from my smile?
Can you smell the denial?
How in the hell can you breath?
Take your time with the story
My eyes are too sore to see
The color is draining with ease.
Take your pity off me....

Can you save me from waking up screamin?
Reassure me that i'm only dreamin?
Can you help me forget, forget all this ****
That lead my heart away from the sun?
So tell me that one, cause you tell it so well.
Help me believe this world's not gone to hell.
Don't tell me the truth, i can't take it.
If you want me to smile, guess i'll have to fake it.
But your the one who knows me best.
My hearts bound to stop beneath the rips in my chest.

(REPEAT CHORUS)

So i'll admit that i'm half scared to death.
But i know that i cant die just yet.
Cause' I'm alive as much as I dont believe it.
Blue veins show through my skin.
And that's all i have, besides your love and this pen.
So just say it again
Lie and say it again.

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Sometimes we see the irrelevant
No war we can prevent
No smile that can be forced
Don't put your pity on me
...whoa...
Take your pity off me.



Note* My uncle works at a record lable and anyone who claims this will have a copyright ticket in their name.

Please leave comments or critisicm. I dont care if its constructive just tell the truth please. This song is called Pity.
barelybreathin barelybreathin
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 14, 2010

I like it. I'm excited to hear the melody ^^,