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Confused Nutcase

Now, since recently I've been worrying that I may be acquring another person's personality which is making me realise that I may not know who I am. To clarify, there was a girl at my college who is a bit different. It's a if she has a certain aura about her that seperates her from the latter. I realised that later I wanted to know how she maintained her hair and the products she used and then how she dresses. Recently I feel as if I've been copying her look even though I used to dress in dark dresses with pants beneath them. When I see her dressing like that on some occasions, I feel as though if I can't ever dress like that in public or among anyone who knows both her or me or else they may think I'm copying her look. I know for a fact that like her I've always been a fan of Rock music and before it was the only genre of music I would listen to but then I became even more obssesed and  little jealous when she knew bands that I didn't and I would google up new bands and try to know more than she did. Now she's into the Law of Attraction, which she introduced to me and on facebook she wrote a blog and even has a website about it. It pains because she was the girl I aspired to be a few years back before I became depressed in High School. Now, I'm twenty, out of college(going back next fall), and practcing a violin(even this doesn't feel like me because I got the inspiration from another girl). I just don't know how to find myself or how to chnage my present state. I'm sick of whining to my mom about everything(she's the only one I tell my prblems to). How do I find me without having to take a piece of everyone I meet?
Hiddenintheleaves Hiddenintheleaves 22-25, F Oct 22, 2010

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