I Need Some Normality Or Is This Just Normal For Me Now?

Engagement, pregnancy, death of mum unexpectedly, fiancee diagnosed with incurable cancer, chemo starts, dad dies unexpectedly, chemo works a little but has to be resumed 6 mths later, potential bone marrow ahead of us and now I am ill. All this in the space of 5 years. I need to have a colonoscopy and quick cause I am in so much pain. Worrying the two kids 3yrs and 4yrs will have no mum or dad soon.Trying to juggle kids and fiancees illness with no family and not many friends in a place where I moved to be with him, my fiancee. Just want to go back to a normal life. No worries. Back where my brothers live. Is that selfish?? I have had enough now. Every day is a constant battle alone even though I love my fiancee, he has his own fight to be getting on with. How do I keep this up?
Starmum Starmum
36-40, F
3 Responses Apr 7, 2011

You are one courageous lady! Why should you feel guilty for wanting to have a normal life? nplnsolo gave some great advice. Find some support even in small ways and give yourself some relief.<br />
God bless you, you are a brave brave woman!

Find out which brother you can spend some time hanging out with and be sure you know what you are getting into otherwise you will be complaining about how your sister in law is wrecking everything, or the mother-in-law. If your husband gets along with his parents and your kid's grandparents get along well with them then why don't you count your blessings and go do what you need to do, knowing that your kids are in good hands?

You need to scale back your responsibilities to manageable proportions. Some baggage must go overboard. But realize that it helps to have a support system in place, given your undiagnosed illness. If you jettison your fiance, can he be there for you when you need him?