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Taking Back What Is Mine

I know this may sound cold, but I will explain.

When I married my ex-wife back in 2002, I was in love with her but she was not in love with me. I was simply a rebound that she happened to marry and have kids with. I'm surprised that our marriage (if you can call it that) lasted the 8 years it did. Anyways, on that day I gave my heart to her, but she did not give her heart to me. Along with my heart, I also gave her my devoted love and affection as well as my virginity. I think the lack of anything from her would explain why I started to feel a void a few years into our marriage.

When she left, she showed no emotion or pain. Every time we would see each other she was always cool and composed, she had cut herself off from me and showed no signs of wanting to restore anything. She is already in a relationship and I'm still single, missing what she took with her. She said that she made a mistake marrying my and that I'm not her type in any way and that she only stayed married to me from the beginning for the benefit of the kids. I'm more than willing to let her go her own way, but she's not taking any part of me.

So I'm going to take back what's mine. I've been slowly getting back physical possessions she took when she moved out, and I've got one more to get. But when the time is right I'm going to take back what I gave her (except the virginity, can't take that back). She never wanted it, so I'm sure she will not object when I take it back. She has no right to it anyways. Of course it will take a little bit of her heart as well (as the part of my that I gave her would have joined to her). It will catch her by surprise when I do, and I've realized that when I get my half back the void will be go away. The fact that she will be affected by it is irrelevant. She can feel a bit of the void I've felt for once.

So in essence, she got me, but I didn't get her. I'm not going to wait for someone to fill the void she left. I'm simply going to take back what's mine and let time restore the two halves. I know how I'm going to do it, and she won't like the end result. What happened happened, I can't change that, but I'm moving forward, and not leaving any part of me behind.
Army0917 Army0917 31-35, M 7 Responses Jun 4, 2011

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Not only is what she's done hurtful, it also shows a lack of respect.<br />
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If the relationship was faultering, she could have said toyou and worked things out. You just dont give up and walk out on a marriage.<br />
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To be cold towards you is just cruel and unchristian. I am sorry you are being tormented in such a way. You have a kind soul, I can feel that. :) xox

Were you a Christian when you got married?

My friend, you are being petty about physical things.. I do believe I could feel the same way but i was left many years ago due to my own self centered life taking priorities in our marriage and was left with my clothes, some sheets, a pillow, a hair dryer and shower curtain.. I understand how you might feel but to make a petty vengenace thing out the situation is not right ..just my opinion. Yu still are one great student of the faith.. Aren't you ?

It was meant to be figurative and this issue has long been settled. I didn't do anything physical, so don't worry. No vengeance was taken out on her. I did get some things back, but she handed them over and I didn't force her to give them back. I also returned a few things she left, so we could say that an exchange of physical items took place.

I agree wtih Bluie. Life is just too damn short to harbor so much bitterness and resentment. There's still a void, and there might be one for a while, but better to fill it in positive ways than by seeking to exact revenge. And really, the best way to get her back if you really must, is by moving on and finding the real love of your life. I think you're fortunate that you found out when you did, and that you still have your life ahead of you. Still time to find happiness with someone else. Just me, but if I were you, that's what I would focus on.

Revenge wasn't the end goal, getting myself back was. I wanted to claim myself back in front of her and and in essence tell her that she had no say in how I felt. Was I hoping that there would be a little void left in her? Yes, but the goal was to stand up and get myself back. I have moved forward, thanks :)

I'll say let it go. Trust me I know how it feels. But you have given enough, you gave you heart off all the worthy possessions. You can't mend your heart with all that, you might just end up feeling even more bad. But if this is what you want, then let it be amicable. Don't give people a chance to say, look this is why I did this or that. Show them how good you are, but don't allow them to hurt you.

I appreciate the comment, but I didn't do anything that hurt her. I simply took ownership of myself before her and decided that she wasn't going to decide how I feel :)

Yeah, Then you are right on your part. :)

Keep strong!

It's a struggle, but I'm trying. Thanks :)

Life does go on, but it is better to do it the right way not her style. It does get better in the end, I know, been through it myself . <br />
Do it the lawful way cause the truth comes out in the end and you become the winner both ways.<br />
Take care

I'll do things the lawful way, I'm just not going to let her keep a part of me she didn't want in the first place.

you are never alone, you are in my prayers !