I Would If I Could

I cant say that I wouldn't change my past if I could, but I can say that I have accepted that the past cant be changed. I am not just thinking about the future as a new life. I have had many up's and many many down's lately, and honestly I don understand why when I am semi happy I have to find a way to mess it up. I have a lot of work to do to get my life back on track, there are a few things that I am not ready and may never be ready to let go of them, such as my safe place where I think nothing can touch me which is in my high. I know that may sound horrible but right now that is all I have to give me comfort. 

I have finally broken free from the chain and ball named Billy, he is finally gone and never will he be able to return to fu'ck up my life again. I am done with him. Yes, my heart is torn in half because I do love him, but I have to do what is best for myself and my well being. 

There is so much wrong in my life that I dont know what is right anymore. I have had a lot of time to think about everything and I know that it is time for something, and this time I have to stay straight, and I am confident in myself right now.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
Sep 12, 2012