Accepting The Past And Moving On...

About 10 months ago, staring at the walls, wide awake at 3am, I was plagued with negative thoughts.. Depression n anxiety were at their peaks, so much that once I even thought of suicide...but was so afraid of just thinking about it that I finally started therapy...
I was extremely unhappy, dissatisfied n lonely.. Didnt know what I was goin to do with my life, didnt even get out of my room in the hostel for many days..
All of this was a result of low self esteem, low self confidence n everything low...since my childhood.

Well, that's a past now.. And since last few months, i'm trying to accept it coz I cant change my past..
Instead, now I see Life as a painful memories of past dont matter now.. They are a part of this journey..

And these days i'm trying to learn to love every moment... ofcourse I still have my bad days, but that's what makes everything I do interesting.. Coz I now learn from those mistakes n move on..

Since I dont want to do what i'm currently doing, I can change it by doing something else.. And the most wonderful thing about this journey is that there's no destination for me, I just want to explore, travel all over, live each moment, listen to my heart.. Success.. failure..dont even matter coz thats what we've defined..
This might seem a bit too ideal, but thats what i'm trying to do each day, I have lots to learn..but i'm happier n content than I was 10 months ago.
I still get frustrated, angry, but I remind myself about how I can change it if I want to.. I can change my future by my thoughts n the actions I take..
Rather than dwelling in the past, I try to think of future coz that's totally goin to be the way I want...
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4 Responses Oct 9, 2012

Admire you, great attitude wise beyond your years. live moment to moment is what i do,cherish them...grateful you pulled through! :) cheers

awe,your a wonderful young lady,family must be proud of you .gr8 advise!!TY:)

Hello amc12 you should check out my site it has videos to push you in the right direction. Hopefully they be an eye opener for you like they been for me. Self Improvement takes a lot of work. But you already made that first step. I wish you well on your new path and may God Bless you.

that is the way to think have gr8 life and may god bless you and all of us

I wish you well on your new path. Sound like your path might be similar to what we are doing at our church. There was a lot of conflict, and a number of people wanted to talk about the things that had happened in the past that upset them. Over and over. We used as guidance a process called appreciative inquiry. Which is to look at what we do well, and try to keep doing those things, and not dwell on the negatives as we can't change them. Trying to incorporate that idea into my life, and not keep cycling back to some things that happened long ago. Trying to doing things that I like as much as possible, and also stay away from some people that I find to be toxic to me.

Exactly. But when you identify them as toxic, then it is easier to know the effect that they can have on you. For me, sometimes it takes a while. Guess I want to give everyone the benefit of a doubt.