I believe that each one of us has their own troubles and I too had my fair share of it as well. I had been betrayed by the person whom I had loved and treasured the most in my life. He spun a lie and distributed my photos without my permission and without even knowing it , I became an internet star overnight and I only found out after some of my friends told me about it. Apparently he had used the context of 'someone hacked into my account' and distributed the photos. However , the police had tracked him down but alas , the photos had been distributed all over the internet already and it was too late.

Not wanting to make much more of a commotion so that people's attention on me would die down , I did not file a lawsuit against him , letting him off the hook and continued the facade of having my account hacked by a stranger. But it has been a few years since that incident yet people could still recognize me like someone of the people here already did. I was especially mortified when people could recognize me when I go out in the streets , pointing their fingers at me , laughing.

I sincerely regret for being so dumb , so dumb that I had trusted the wrong guy. Trusting his sweet words and did the foolishest of things possible. I would also like to borrow the chance to apologize to the people whom I had blocked and deleted comments of.

I'm really sorry , I don't mean to do that but I just want to start a new life. It had been really hard for me to get past these two years after I became infamous. Did you know how hard was it for me just to get out of depression afterwards ? Did you know how much pain I felt when I felt as though I had disgraced my family ?

Struggling with a break up with my boyfriend , facing the stares and snickers of people , even relatives were sneering at me behind my back. Ultimately when I went out one time to fetch my little brother from school despite the stares that I were getting , I was dragged into a dark corner where I was raped. Up until today , their voice still haunts me , calling me names like a nasty dirty **** and such for posing for such photographs..

I was really that devastated that I did not come out from the house for months. Withdrawing from school , losing all form of contact with the outside world as I stayed cooped up in my bedroom , cursing myself for being that stupid. Yes , who's to blame ? I myself was the cause of all this. Unable to take it after the commotion did not die after a few months , being unable to resume to my daily life , I attempted suicide but failed. Up till today , I still have the scars on my wrist to prove it.

After attempting suicide for the first few months , my family had to refer me to a therapist. And after sessions and sessions of counselling , he finally convinced me to come out of my shell once more. He told me that if I was worried about how society viewed me , I should try socializing on the internet first and suggested to me to create a fake alias so that no one would be able to recognize me.

As many of my friends may had noticed but my replies were usually cold and short. I sincerely apologize for it , I'm just not used to conversing anymore. I'm afraid of being judged like how others had judged me without knowing the whole truth. I am afraid of trusting people now , that's why I spare little to no information about myself , not even wanting to reveal my age.

I had been scolded '****' , '*****' , '*****' in the past few days that I had joined by the people whom had recognized me through the photos. Some of them even called me fake as my name and photos were pretty infamous back then.  Why is it so hard just for me to blend into society once more ? Can't I be normal again after committing a single folly ? I realize my mistakes and even people whom came out of jail often get a second chance in life and yet people are giving me the death sentence. Why must you all continue to condemn me ? 

All I want now is just a second chance in life. Please , for those of you whom had added me and recognizes my photos , please try to keep mum about my real name. I just want a second chance in life as a different person , not daunted by my past anymore and I really don't know what to do anymore.. Do I really have to die for you guys to let me off ?
Debbiechan Debbiechan
22-25, F
36 Responses Nov 12, 2012

No. We all make mistakes. You're still young, so allow this experience to make you stronger and wiser; however, beware of isolating yourself because of the actions of a nasty person (the Ex). You're a beautiful and articulate woman, so thrive in this knowledge...

Make lots of good deeds and people don't notice, make a single mistake, and they never forget. Society had been a real downer, but there are still people out there who would look past that mistake and see you as who you really are, a strong, kind, loving lady. Well, to those who stare, they stare cause they don't have a life, or they don't know that anybody could have made that se mistake. You handled it well, stay strong.

Your story is really inspiring.
It's amazing how you managed to continue with life and I'm very glad that you did. It may seem to take a while to fall back into the patterns of society, and a lot may seem as if it has changed, but hey, life continues.
I'm sure not the whole world could have seen your mistake.
Continue to get up in the mornings, find a reason to smile, and life with bless you.

I know now, ignore parts of my message.

So sorry that you are going through this. It will all pass but that's no comfort in the moment. Fortunately the internet is moving so fast that anything more than a few days old is ancient history and largely forgotten. Don't harm yourself, it will get better.

It's really terrifying that we as a people have come to this. We see something on the internet or television and automatically assume we know the truth, and anyone who doesn't agree with us is "blind". You seem like a really sweet woman, and I personally doubt I would be able to recognize you, but that isn't why I requested a friendship. I believe that everyone should be given a second chance to correct their mistakes, because everyone makes them in all forms. I wish you the best.

oh my god, this is so embarrassed. the only thing I can help you is by praying.. hoping that you can get through with these trials.. Be strong girl.. and if u want any strange person to talk to, Im free will.. this is so sad.. :(

None of this was your fault you cannot be responsible for other people's actions or narrow views. Sadly you have paid dearly for it. You have done exceedingly well to get this far don't give up x

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. It's sad because I feel like many people share pictures like that with the one they love, and I'm sure some of the people that scoffed at you did the same. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. You shouldn't have to feel guilty or wrong. I'm sure people will get over it, keep your head high! Go out there and be yourself and no matter what is in your past people will see the real you and love you.

You will fine someone to love you, so don't even worry yourself about it.

dunno what you did in your past sweetie but it doesn't matter. I'd date you in second! :)

Your story brought tears to my eyes Debbie, I feel heartbroken for you, the situation you were put it just by loving and trusting is so unjust..
Yes like many people say it will take time, a long time but you need to re evaluate the people around you who did not stand by you and support you and press the delete button on them..
I would love to be your friend and chat with you and be there to just listen to you even vent if need be. Nobody is perfect we have all done silly or stupid things and sometimes it's a massive learning curve for us when things go wrong.
I hope you find strength and slowly slowly each new day will bring a smile to your face...
All the best Debbie, take care xxxx
Please email me if you are upto it, I'd love to hear from you....

There are whole communities who live their lives totally naked, award parties for **** stars and girls totally naked on tv every single day of the year. There is nothing dirty or shamefull about being naked, its beautiful. The people who judged you should be the ones hanging their heads in shame for treating another person like that. You were tricked, people are bastards, you loved someone and they betrayed you. Anyone with half a brain should see you were the victim and took those photos because it was an intimimate moment between you and a loved one, who later ****** you over. Its cool, you'll be stronger by the end and you've got rid of all the useless people in your life in one great step. Its time to find the new life and take the next steps. You will survive and be great. Happy face x

My God is a God of 2 and 3rd chance.Jesus great granmother married twice {RUTH}, his great, great....great grandmother was a prostitute.There is no shame for you. Rather your BF act is shameful. Don't worry! Hold your heads high. Can't you see so many boys comment you are cute?So seek to live an honorable life!

You should never be ashamed of what happen in the past. Sadly there is A-holes in this world. I would recommend learn for the past mistakes and move foward wit the head high. Do the best you can, and if you can defenitive move to a new place. No A-hole should make you feel less about yourself!.

I am so sorry for all that you have had to endure. I can only imagine the pain and embarrassment that you have gone through. I wish there was a way that I could help you and take you away from the pain of your past haunting you.

Have you reported to the police about the rape? Those *** holeee are monster. They are fuckinggg criminals. People saw your **** photos that show they are fuckingg sinners watch those kind of craps.

It is hard especially live in Asia. People are not behave like in the western countries. I hope you can move abroad in somewhere nobody knows you.
Please don't suicide!

I want to be your friend and accept you.

Aw you poor thing. It's not your fault, hopefully you'll get a chance to a fresh start.

Sad to know all that you have gone through. I have been a victim too. But it was my girlfriend turned wife who did the same. It took me 3 years to come out of that shock. I suggest you too can overcome. Be strong and take courage.

You should never be ashamed of who you are. No person should make you feel less about yourself!

if you okay with sorry that's good but i don't think that's a word worth the situation....pray its gone
"Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings."
There are males out there who believe women are sacred. Are you to be a victimized because you are a good soul and you show positive attributes like caring and trust. I hope you can and will find peace. The quote above from Elie Wiesel holds true, especially given the community at EP. You are not alone and there are good, like minded people that care about you. After reading your story, i now too hope and pray for your well being. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong. What ever it takes

Wow, that really got me , hang in there, so you made a mistake- just flush the toilet and move on.
I have several big mistakes in my life and I am still working through it all.

I wish you to be happy.


I think you have found a community that accepts you. I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I don't think it was your fault.

I am sorry. I hope you are better now. I agree with one of the posters who said, what does not kill you makes you stronger. You do not see life from that prospective at the time. You are beautiful and Chinese. I am going there Next September for 5 weeks. I look forward to my visit.

We all make mistakes, the important part is what you learn from them. <br />
Hold your chin high, learn from your mistake and move on with your life. As bad as this is for you things could be worse. I must say though that the person that did this to you is a worm not worth your thoughts so don't give him your power by letting this define who you are. Hang in there!

GEESE ,THATS MIND BLOWING ! how could a person do something like that.forgive me for trusting too. I can relate to your story because of experience. A man is suppose to love and respect his partner regardless if their married or not,consenting adults you would think everything is cool! Thanks You so much for SHARING!!

it is never wrong to love. Unfortunately the person you loved ended up being a disgrace to men. No person man or woman should ever share something given in love. They say every person has a twin and just tell people that is your twin. You seem like a true sweet girl and I will say very pretty. Everybody makes mistakes but trusting someone you love should never come back to haunt you. I really want to be your friend. I am a nice guy and I hope I can bring some joy to your life. I will admit I might go over the top on compliments sometime but WOW you are a gorgeous girl. I hope you can love again and you WILL find a nice guy that will love you back. You have suffered like no person should ever suffer so hopefully now life will only bring you pleasure.



Sorry for what this dirtbag put you though Debbie. What you need someone to cherish you and to make you happy.

wow what a horrible experience. i myself went through a different but equally bad experience when i was younger. i was in highschool and was betrayed by a "friend". at the time this happened no one knew i was gay. he called me one day for what seemed like a casual phone call. oh boy was i sadly mistaken. i found out later that he recorded our conversation and took the time to dub a tape of it. during the chat he was asking me specific questions to which he knew he would get me to say what he wanted. he then circulated copies of the tape to the entire school. it wasnt long before i had people i didnt even know coming up to me just to cast insults. it was a very painful time in my life and i would pray for death every day. well the saying goes what doesnt kill you makes you stronger right? that ordeal made me alot stronger and, like you, hardened and cold towards others. just give it time and one day you will realise that you will be one tough lady. i just wanted to share this with you to let you know that you are not alone. i feel your pain because ive been there. take care

It is not your fault in the least... Don't blame yourself for others ignorance. I'm glad that you are able to socialize again. You had your bad times but it seems like you are becoming a stronger person... I would like to add you as a friend and chat sometime. I hope your doing a lot better and continue to do so. :-)

I am sorry to hear that...but i am also happy that u realised ur mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance just be strong and ignore those stupid people around u..try to think positively and never let anything bring u down..*hug*

Those people were never your real friends, they did you a favor, your only crime was trusting someone with somthing. they should be mad at him. All those people showed thier true colors about what they are really all about. A real friend would have stood by included. they should all be ashamed. but Karma, one day they may be in similiar situation and maybe feel what you feel now and actually get it, maybe he wished they stood by you because you would stood by them..I'ts really disgusting when you think how they treated you when you needed them the most. On a much lesser scale I got a promotion once, had the time..could do the job..was ignored by people who thought were friends..including the one person I thought would stand by me...nope..I told them off ..what I thought...saw them at work ingnored them..if they stared I would stare back..yell..what? you got somthing you want to say? or walk right up to thier lil group ..they weren't going to intimidate are soo better off with them..its not your was his..and your so called friends...

This reminds me of the girl that left a message to the world on youtube who had this similar problem like you, although she successfully committed suicide. :( You have been heard Debbie because of this story you shared with me and others on EP. I don't know what it's like to be you but I could imagine and tell how much you suffer far more greater. If you meet the right person or people, you will find a second chance at life. Don't give up hope. I myself is still looking for that support group, someone special, or just a significant person I trust. I'm dealing with loneliness and I'm sure part of you has that also. It's a cruel world, I know. I've experience it myself for being too gullible all the time and I hated that sometimes. I'm that easily influence by others but not as much as before now. Story like these makes me want to be their instant EP buddy. Thanks for sharing. Well said.