Not The Scared Little Girl

that i use to be. my troubles in life started at a young age. 3 years old in fact. was the first time anyone can remember me saying something that wasnt normal out a yound childs mouth. my step father was a alcoholic ********* . for 10 years of my young life i was abused in many ways.. many that i struggle on a daily basis to get out of my head. i blamed my mom for not seeing what was going on but she had 6 other children and a very demanding job . i was very angry and sad. i cut for a long time until i was 14 and picked up drugs starting with pot, and e , coke, oxycotin popping whatever i was givin . i became a drunk at 17 . my life just kept on getting worse. i finally came out about my stepdad and because i had waited so long there was no physical evidence . and we lost the case. i moved several times getting into toxic relationships because i didnt know what a healthy one was. i stopped cutting around 19 and most of the drugs besides pot. i got pregnant at 21, with an amazing little boy who i believe changed my whole life for the better. i carried alot of that fear and hate around. wondering if i would ever foget about it.. but you dont .. you cant all you can do is forgive . truly forgive and 3 months ago i did just that. i found my stepfathers fb . and i wrote him and told him i forgave him for everything that i couldnt hurt myself by hating him. and he wrote me back something i never thought i would read.. he told me he was very sorry and to please forgive him ... for so long he denied it and alot of family thought i was a grade a pathelogical liar. i think my mom even had her doubts because she made me forward the message to her. today i still remember who i use to be .. and i will never be that frightened hurt little girl . i am a strong woman who overcame and forgave my past and accepted the experiances i was given and thank god for the blessings he has given me . i wouldnt change anything because of how i grew up my sons life will be much happier and much safer.
swannysgirl swannysgirl
Nov 30, 2012