I Was So Innocent!

Um. Well I haven't told many people ,not even my parents!
When I was little my ears were really damaged so I was always vurnable.I also moved around alot because my mother was trying to get her college degree. After a while my mother settled on a town called Dequeen. I loved that town(I still live there) but after a while my mom was told she had to send my older sister to preschool. My mother tried to send me with my sister but they said I couldn't because I was too sick. So my mom had to get me a babysitter which envolved money and mom didn't any so she had to take a job that didn't had to have a college degree. Soon enough my mother got a job and got a babysitter soon enough. The first day my mother woke me up early so she can take me there, after we got there she took me inside the house and I fell asleep again for another couple of hours.The first day went past by two adults fighting but I didn't tell my mother about this. The next day, after my mother dropped me off. I fell almost quickly to sleep intill I felt someone hand grabbing my waist harshly and taking me somewhere. Then I felt something pushing my underwear down and felt something going between my legs, I though we were playing a game. I was about to laugh till the person harshly clamped my mouth and said,'' You tell anyone you die.'' so quickly I hushed till I felt pain more pain then the surgeries I had before.I was about to cry till the person moaned loudly and slowly pulled my underwear up took me to the place I was sleeping before and layed me down and left. This going on for days intill I figured out it was the babysitter's husband that was raping me. One day I full of pain, enough pain to kill me. Just as my mother was going to the door I ran to and when I stood in front of her and I fainted. After that my mother never took me there again now I am 13 and I barely remember some things but still feel the pain that he gave me. A couple months later he had a daughter. I used to know that man's daughter but never had the guts to tell her what her father did to me.All I know about the man right now is that he is still alive. After all that I changed from a sweet little girl to a person I don't really understand.

( sorry for any missspelled words)

Also please I need help I want to tell all my friends about it but I am too scared if they leave me in my own burden. Please tell me what to do!!!
snowflake10793 snowflake10793
13-15, F
Dec 7, 2012