My Mind Won't Let Me Sleep.

Welp..I pulled an all-nighter during finals week but it wasn't because I was studying. My mind just won't stop thinking! I try to focus on my breathing but then I just go on another mental tangent. What I don't get is why I can't seem to be productive during the day and get my to-do list accomplished, only to obsess about it during bed time so that I get no sleep in. It is a horrible cycle.

So why post in this group? Because the thing I obsess about is going to graduate school, putting together a cover letter and resume so that after I graduate from college I will be on the right track.

I should be thrilled that I am graduating college this Friday and that I will be the first in my immediate family to get a four year degree. Instead, I think "what am I going to do now?" and "why can't I get myself prepared to send in applications for graduate school?" I truly value my education and I know deep down in my heart that I will someday get a master's degree. However, I constantly feel behind the curve from my peers that plan to get their master's. I am much less organized and much less financially prepared. It's like I'm playing catch up and I have to figure out everything by myself. I over think EVERYTHING and I can't help but beat myself up for the carelessness of my high school days. Without a parent to really punish or explain things to me, I was constantly drinking and experimenting with drugs. I blew off school and had no true understanding of how health can affect one's life. I grew up on fast food and sodas; and even though I know better I still find myself constantly eating unhealthy. My health habits have improved. I am more responsible now than ever but I have problems with self-control and I believe that it holding me back from accomplishing my goals.

Any advice or thoughts?

letstalk7161 letstalk7161
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

I friend in *JESUS* is what put me back together,took time and talking to Him lots.
Reading `His tory and its truth set me free.Not without challenges but thats preps` for deeper life right.GBU