I Believe That My Past Has Molded Me To Be The Person I Am Intended To Be.

I have been reflecting on my past due to recent diagnosis of Borderline personality disorder. Upon reflection I am relieved in one way and devasted in another way. I am relieved to know that there is an explanation for the way I behaved, felt, acted out doing risky behaviors and treated other people. The devastation came when I began coming to terms with what occurred to mold me. The physical and mental abuse that I had convinced myself was "all in my head" & devalued my memories and thoughts for so many yrs. I am 38 and I was just diagnosed. Now diagnosed I can only move forward and finally learn to be who God has always had planned for me.
marblesfly marblesfly
36-40
2 Responses Jan 10, 2013

For me it was a depession so dark that I wanted to be done and this time I had plans. Fortunately for me my husband noticed this in me and suggested I get help and I readily agreed trusting him. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other Mental illness and you are concerned ask your primary MD and if they dont address your concerns, get referal to a psych MD. If that doesn't work out I believe each county has mental health ageny call and ask to be seen. I would have rather have done that earlier instead of all self medicating over the years. For me the past is only a memory and now I am learning skills to live for today. Good luck and I'm here

I often wonder if I have something similar. Sometimes I can't explain the things I do or don't do. For example: I can start a project, and then get an idea for another project that would make this one better, and then another one, and I just jump from project to project without finishing the first ones, until everything in my apartment is out and strewn out everywhere and I just break down from being overwhelmed. I even recognize when I am doing it, but can't stop it. What made you finally get checked?