Few Regrets That's Hard To Forget

i dunno how to start. hahaha, this will be pretty random. this is just a puzzle piece of my life. just sharing. :))

*my parents bought an
educational plan
>-the agent got away with the money

*i took a science and technology scholarship test, and passed
>my parents did not approve of the degree i want (chemical eng'g)

*i passed the entrance exam for the premiere state univ in my country
>my parents don't want me to be that far from them,

*i got a full scholarship for a nursing degree in another school in another prestigious school
>my aunt wants me to study nursing and commits she'll be helping me out til i find work

*my father lost his job, less financial support
>studying became harder, my aunt, was in bad times too

i graduated, fortunately an alumni sponsored my study for my nursing degree, and i passed the licensure exam and am now a registered nurse,

i am confused most of the time between the things i should do, and the things i wanna do.

from time to time my past haunts me, the words "if only" lingers my ears, all my time my parents decided for my interests, i was too naive to choose for mine, when i was younger, i say it will be fine, i'm well-rounded as my teachers say, any topic can be discussed and be easily understood,

as i grow older, i found it hard, i am fond of learning(yeah, sometimes i just buy a random book and read about it), but at times there are things we should focus on, (like i dream of taking up masters, being a doctor, and be an engineer too. :P, --too high maybe, still far from my grasps)

i love being a nurse, i love being with people, i love helping and these circumstances make me humble all the more, if only am not torn between my passion and a high-paying job for my family, am the eldest by the way..things are different, your family reminds you of your responsibilities, from time to time and minute to minute.

I AM SCARED.
all the time,
as my friend said it when i told him am not ready for the world, he replied the world will never be ready for you too.

thanks EP, as i am writing this i have felt like someone hugged my heart, and carefully removed my fears and put them aside.


i'll never know what the future holds, but i know who holds the future, there's much in store in this life i see, and EP tells me there are experiences far more beyond what my pea-sized brain could understand.

lol. :P
deleted deleted
26-30
Jan 15, 2013