Few Regrets That's Hard To Forget

i dunno how to start. hahaha, this will be pretty random. this is just a puzzle piece of my life. just sharing. :))

*my parents bought an
educational plan
>-the agent got away with the money

*i took a science and technology scholarship test, and passed
>my parents did not approve of the degree i want (chemical eng'g)

*i passed the entrance exam for the premiere state univ in my country
>my parents don't want me to be that far from them,

*i got a full scholarship for a nursing degree in another school in another prestigious school
>my aunt wants me to study nursing and commits she'll be helping me out til i find work

*my father lost his job, less financial support
>studying became harder, my aunt, was in bad times too

i graduated, fortunately an alumni sponsored my study for my nursing degree, and i passed the licensure exam and am now a registered nurse,

i am confused most of the time between the things i should do, and the things i wanna do.

from time to time my past haunts me, the words "if only" lingers my ears, all my time my parents decided for my interests, i was too naive to choose for mine, when i was younger, i say it will be fine, i'm well-rounded as my teachers say, any topic can be discussed and be easily understood,

as i grow older, i found it hard, i am fond of learning(yeah, sometimes i just buy a random book and read about it), but at times there are things we should focus on, (like i dream of taking up masters, being a doctor, and be an engineer too. :P, --too high maybe, still far from my grasps)

i love being a nurse, i love being with people, i love helping and these circumstances make me humble all the more, if only am not torn between my passion and a high-paying job for my family, am the eldest by the way..things are different, your family reminds you of your responsibilities, from time to time and minute to minute.

all the time,
as my friend said it when i told him am not ready for the world, he replied the world will never be ready for you too.

thanks EP, as i am writing this i have felt like someone hugged my heart, and carefully removed my fears and put them aside.

i'll never know what the future holds, but i know who holds the future, there's much in store in this life i see, and EP tells me there are experiences far more beyond what my pea-sized brain could understand.

lol. :P
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Jan 15, 2013