After Graduation

I took a semester off before going to college. For the next couple years pretty much all I did was school and sitting alot more often doing long papers and doing things around the house. 210 came.... I felt fat but wasn't motivated or cared enough to really drop the weight. I wanted to. I never wanted the weight in the first place I only put it on in the beginning to make my dad love me for me and it didn't work obviously. Any how 220 came. So I worked out a few times thinking yeah dad will be proud of me when he sees me in a few months..... Except the scale said no change. I wasn't eating well enough or working out hard enough to make a difference and when I the scale said no change I just got sick to my stomach and decided to push it aside yet again and just forget about it. Id come to a realization that he would never love me the way he should or be proud to say i was his daughter. Not one time during college did he ask about my classes or how i was doing in them. I doubt he even knows what im in college for. Who knows? Lol Over this summer I weighed myself out of curiosity and id hit 230. I took a step back looked in the mirror. Like I said it was some one I didn't recognize. I had an instant aversion to her. This fat woman I've become is not how far I intended to be. When did I stop caring? When did I let myself completely go? It was then in that moment I decided no more. I made some small changes and I've dropped down to 206. Now your sorta up to date on me. Now I can go on to write what's going on in my reality. Struggles and such. Here I hope to gain encouragement, criticism, friends, and advise.
Fateovafatgirl Fateovafatgirl
22-25, F
Jan 24, 2013