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looking back

I've been there...
I had my first boyfriend when I was in high school life. A candidate for a graduating student in short a SENIORS.

Rex is his name.
My classmate,my crush before.
I admired him so much because he has a lot of capacity in terms of talent.
I can say he can be consider as a PROFESSIONAL DANCER..
We've been friends until such time it came to a point that we've both texting together and finally he courted me..because of my affection to him I wasn't able to control myself and I said "YES"..
I don't know..
My friends was shocked and keep on asking why?!
I asked myself and tried to self-evaluate..
Why did my friends don't like him?

REX and I been 10 months of a relationship..its not about for a pleasure but I found myself before that I really love him much..yeah!I just can't denied the fact that we've been through a lot of struggled and also we've been tested enough.It came to a point that I've surrendered.I wasn't able to hold tight the relationship.In spite of many trials came to our relationship before I've tried my best but still came with nothing and breaking up.First,I don't wanna let him go until such time that seemed the condition pushed me to do.
I let him go..

First week of adjustment seemed so easy to me. I met a guy who's name is Raymond. It's kinda weird why I felt so different to him. I fell in love with him. He asked my number from my classmate and I did it too.
We both communicating each other. Late in the evening before I went to bed after our conversation. Everyday so different without knowing the feeling of my ex-bf. He knew what I did. He knew everything my stupid actions. He let himself not affected even my actions tormented his part. I am bad and stupid!
But the communication between Raymond and I,like a smoke that been evaporated and stopped.


Rex and I been friends again after the day that I asked sorry.
I made mistakes that made our friendship damaged but this moment we both settled now..
We are okay.
He is happy and I'm happy for him also..

My emotions had been go.
My only problem now is my best friend..
He never talk to me the way we did before.
He keep on trying to separate himself and don't want to communicate at me.
I am desperate cause I really miss him now.
It's been a week that he wasn't able to text me.
I am worried and depressed..
I miss him ..

maybe I should let this emotions go away !
I want to change my future cause I've learned from my past.
I can do better than what I expected to be.
I know my life now is complicated..I should take a move so that it could be retrieve :)
sarcism sarcism 18-21, F Feb 5, 2013

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