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I Wish I Could Change The Past

i know that what i did was wrong but she hurt me first,what i did was i got revenge  and why are they still contacting me to bother me after so long. a part of me thinks they miss me i mean when i hate someone i stay away from them as much as possible. but they keep pranking me after 2 years. they got to be desperate got nothing else to talk about or complain about. so they resort to me. well im no longer that little girl that would get all tense after there pranks and threats. i now laugh and feel that i'm a very important person to them. let me tell you the story so you could understandk.

me, ester, and ginger have been best friends since we were 11. me and ginger a bit longer we even have the same birthdate. anyways

me and ester's relationship fell apart around the time that we were 16, i started fixing myself up more, acting mature unlike ester whom was very imature. and then we fell for the same guy, not that eigther one of us had a chance to get with him he was taken, ester started telling people mean things about me saying don't talk to her yatayata. so when this word got to my ear i decided i wasn't gonna talk to her and she's all shocked to see that i'm not talking to her. she kept telling people that i was saying bad things about them so they wouldnt talk to me.and i became sick of the confrontations 1 after another with the i heard that you said this and that about me.so i stopped talking to all of them and started hanging out with my highschool crew.(this was my crew from elementary)

now my relationship with ginger

she stopped talking to me when she became pregnant at the age of 14 going on 15, cause her baby's daddy forbade her to talk to anyone. but i had new friends and couldn't care less. neigther one of them went to my highschool. after i dropped out ginger had started to talk to me again and she and i became close again hanging out in her room calling guys over (gingers mother lets her do whatever she wants) ******* and drinking. i had fun but the guys would mostly talk to me more than her and want to be with me and not her. so jealousy arouse. and well she started spreading rumors about me that all the different types of guys going in her house were for me. i take blame for wat i do. half of those guys were for me but the other half were for her, infact there were times that i didn't even **** the guy that came, i admit it i'm a **** but wat bothered me was that she was one too but refused to accept it. it was almost like she was in denial.lol. ginger did alot of ****** up things to me. she spread so many rumours about me and its so much **** that i don't have the energy to list them all well i do but that'll be wasting my energy. the last thing that tipped me over was an incident at a bar we were like 19 or 20. by this time me and ester were speaking again after years of her trying to speak to me i finally 4gave her, so you can say she now appreciated and respected me more. i was getting guys to buy me drinks like always she (ginger) had to pay for hers. and was burning with envy. i quickly got drunk and started acting cooky. but not in a negative way i was making people laugh. with me and at me. ester and i and esters girlfriend(ester was going through that lesbo stage) were having a great time. a guy asked me to sit next to him unaware that i had taken somebody els's seat i sat and we started conversating. once that person came back she yelled in my face to move out of her seat.(picture a 6 foot women fatter than santa clause) and i did ofcourse i saw in the distance ester and her girlfriend were coming tours me to defend me and ginger pulled them back saying leave her leave her. so i was about to get beat up by this huge women why (mean drunk i guess) but since she was a regular and i was getting everything for free. i got kicked out, nicely tho. they told me its nothing personal but they are regulars (the two big women. and they always spend alot of money there. so ginger was like let her leave while ester was actually wanting to come with me and being very attentive (i was crying) but ginger convinced her to stay. i got a friend to come pick me up. the next day ginger is calling me on my phone telling me you know i saved you right?. but ester had also called me to tell me well confirm what i already knew that ginger was like leave her and even went up to those ladies and told them go smack the **** out of her she deserves it. that was the last straw.

what i did to ginger. my revenge.... hehehe

was i told her fake baby's daddy that he wasn't the real father but he already knew that and how she cheated on him alot all the time but he already knew that i made out with him and let him suck on my ***. bad veronica i know but i don't care. once she found out she pranked me like there was no tomorrow threatning me getting other people to do it. i use to get all tense everytime the phone rang i became paranoid. i felt so alone cause ginger conviced ester to not speak to me. so i was really alone she harrassed me day and night finally i went to her house so we could fight and get it over with. she was so scared she came out with her friends from downstairs any ways noone really won the fight but the phone calls stopped after that. michael(fake baby's daddy) kept trying to instigate things further, he's a sicko but thats another story.

the calls stopped after the fight for like a month. then michael told ginger oh so she must've ****** you up since you no longer say **** to her so the calls started again. so i had to change my number.  but from time to time they'll leave messages on my answering machine at home. i've had the same house phone # since me and ginger were in the 3rd grade any ways it was a once in a blue moon thing. every1 in my house has a cell phone so no1 never answers the house phone cuz no ones ever home. lol

after 2 years from the incident

they would leave messages like your daughter has herpes. i've answered the phone once like 3 weeks ago at like 3am they were calling. when i picked up it was ester trying to disguise her voice but hello! i known her for most of my life i recognize her voice anywhere she asked for my sister i yelled at her why was she calling at this time playing like i didn't know it was her and i could tell by the change in her tone of voice she got a bit scared lol. then i hung up.

last night at 12am they called the house my mom picked up the phone. and she asked to speak to me or my sister. my mom told her that we were sleeping. and then she got loud with my mother my mom couldnt make out wat she was was saying cause she doesnt speak english. spic LMAO. jus jokin so she hung up and then they called again my mom didnt pick up so they left a message i heard it it was ester talking bout tell veronica to pay me my money she was trying to be funny. that was gingers idea cuz she loves to prank people.

there have been times that i miss them i hate being alone. even tho i know they weren't real friends atleast i had fun with them now i have no one and feel like a loser. i wish i hadn't done what i did. i wish i wouldn't just played dumb and use ginger and ester as my company entertainment i now know something that i didnt know before nobody is perfect including myself. my mom always tells me just cuz someone does something bad to you doesnt mean that you have to respond the same way you should play stupid act like you dont know nothing and just use them as your entertainment cause if your always with the oh you did this to me im not gonna talk to you you'll end up alone. my anwer to this use to be i rather be alone now i've learned that thats not so being alone is horrible. i can't change the past wats done its done.

i pray for friends but im very picky you kno i need to lower my expectations i've had so many opportunities at making new friends but turn them down at the end like a dumb ***

today when i heard that message i was suprisingly happy. weird huh? it made me feel alive again. i've been so depressed because i got fired from my job i got another one but its part time so im always at home everyday its the same as yesterday it feels like im inside a dream and hearing that message made me feel alive. it pulled me back to reality i know its sounds weird but it's what it is. i am so questioning my sanity right about now. my life is that boring that a prank that was intended to make me feel bad actually made me feel good happy and alive again.

 

veronica4ever veronica4ever 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 13, 2010

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Oh, so polite indeed
Well I got everything I need
Oh make my days a breeze
And take away my self-destruction

It's bitter baby but it's very sweet
I rode a rollercoaster but I'm on my feet
Take me to your river let me on your shore
I'll be coming back baby I'll be coming back for more
I cannot forget but I will not insevere
save your pleasure at my expense
oh, but I won't regret it never

Where I go I just don't know
I might end up somewhere in Mexico
When I find my piece of mind
I'm gonna keep you til the end of time.

is that a song?

You gotta let it be your year.

"holding onto anger is like drinking poison and then expecting the other person to die." BUDDHA said that. he was a smart fella.<br />
go on with your life, forgive but not forget the past. you can't change it...<br />
never, ever abandon your family. they are the only true connection to yourself.<br />
the timing may be off, but no one knows what the future holds in store. <br />
to those who have hurt you, KARMA will come and pay a visit. what goes around, comes around. and when it does, don't smile, nor pounce upon their bad luck. just know that their own poor behavior came back to repay them. after all.... KARMA knows where you live too.<br />
be well and good luck to you,

thnx daquid:)

U R most welcome Ronnie. i've been there, on both sides of the fence. i have learned a long time ago that, I can't control other folks behavior so, it's best to concentrate upon my own.
"i live my life in such a way so, my friends can defend me but, don't have to." -Thomas Jefferson.
B weller cupcake,

P.S. My name is Veronica too!

Good for you! I would have smashed them. But then again I'm a violent person, Lol.

bunnster,
by your own admission, you are a violent person..... how long do you think, that other people will put up with such behavior? advise, you can take or kick it to the curb... the decisions that you make today, will determine the decisions that you be able to make, down the road...
Buddha's proverb concerning holding onto anger also pertaiins to you.
but hey, that's just me....