I Cannot Change “my Past”...and I Don’t Need To.
I cannot change “my past”...and I don’t need to......and I don't not want to either.
I had always been lucky having special people touching my life, specially friends, and people I have fallen in love with,
My husband was not the exception. Our life was always exciting, full of everything, one day was never as another. We both are creative, so we gave our life a doze of insanity, by doing always exciting things. So we live in the most beautiful places. We lived in Puerto Vallarta, Genève, Milan, Tenerife, Cancun, and Cuernavaca, where I actually live.
Things happen for a reason and now I know, that I am much better now, that I was then, but I did not know. I am divorce now. He cheated on me, and I believe in forgiveness, but I could not live with someone I don’t trust. And even he always regret losing his family, he understood that my decision had nothing to do with LOVE, but with trust. He has grown and became a better person himself, and we do have a fantastic relation. After all, he gave me so much and I have to be honest with myself - he colored my life, in some many ways. He gave me the best heritage “my two kids”, so I am grateful of all I shared with this man.
When I ended my marriage, I was so depressed , couldn't eat, couldn’t sleep, did not want to do anything for two or three months, I was in my bones, size 12 girls. Because I wanted a family, It was my family that I lost by being very trustful with both of them,
I do not know NOW if my marriage was the best in the world, but it was my family, good or bad, and I was happy. I did not want a family with a mother and kids, which was not my life project; I wanted the whole package to feel complete.
One day I cried more than the others...almost all day, and the very next day I just woke up and said to myself this in not the way I want my children to look at me I AM A FAMILY WITH THEM, a family based on COMMITMENTS, based on LOVE, based on RESPECT, based on LAUGHS, so I said to myself “I have a functional family” the other maybe it wasn’t,. And I started since that very day to rebuild my new me. I did not work for many years after being a successful women working in the hotel industry, but I gave everything up, for my family. So, as always lucky...I was not even looking for a job, when suddenly as a gift from GOD, I was hired as the GM of a hotel in Cuernavaca. At first I was afraid, such a long time dealing with rice and stew, pampers and milks, dropping and picking up, parent’s school, Gymboree, that I was feeling unconfident for two minutes, because the minute I started my job, I knew It was a GIFT. I enjoy so much my job, and I feel lucky doing what I love to do, and I think not many people have that fortune. I have my friends, which I love them very very much, my house near my job, a nice and comfortable house, my mother that stills in this earth standing by me, my brothers, the flowers, the sun, the mountains and I really fell fulfill. I did not need anything else to become happier. I have everything I feel happiness for, even though I wanted the whole package... still think.. if I could live my life again, I will do the same, take the same decision, and love the same people, because all those experience have brought me where I am.
I have had the time to spend with myself, to see things on another perspective, and to feel very ´proud the way I became myself again.
So, I love to say that past is past.....future is uncertain....and I just have TODAY...a gift, that is why is call PRESENT.
I cannot change my past, and I don’t want to change it, but I can look for a brighter future, and I am on my way to do so!