Cramming For A Test I Already Failed.

Well, this is my first time on this site and apparently I’m suppose to post stories or life experiences. No offense to anyone no here, I may be wrong, but I highly doubt anyone would stick around to read a 3 page story, so I’ll break down who I am, why I’m here, what I’m experiencing, and what I’m doing about it.

WHO am I???

I’m John (not my real name), I’m six foot tall, very athletic and very very strong (4th strongest kid in a school of 3500 people in high school) I’m also very smart, rocking a 3.6 gpa in college. I’m currently attending a small community college and working at a local retail store.

WHY am I here???

Well, cause I’m stressed duh. And as of right now I have no one I can ***** too or spill my soul too other than the Internet, and it feels better to let it out rather than just let it brew in me. So here I am.

WHAT I’m EXPERIENCING

Ha ha, THIS is the meat of the story. Well, I guess I should start with the catalyst of all my stress. I would of course be an absolutely gorgeous and all around awesome girl, who knocked me on my rear and left my head spinning. This girl brought my life into perspective. She is active, social, dates regularly, and has a solid group of friends she can rely on. She goes on trips, and gets as much as she can out of life. And this made me realize. All my life I’ve gone through the motions. I never dated, not cause I couldn’t, but because I never tried. Although I am strong, I failed in football in high school cause I didn’t try. And I rarely partied because I closed myself off. I’m the root problem to everything that is going wrong. Now, there is a much much deeper story behind all of this than I’m giving here, but I won’t bore you with the details. Needless to say, I lost her, and I lost my confidence. So now I’m taking my life in a new direction.

WHAT am I going to DO???

As I said, I’m taking my life in a completely different direction. I’m changing everything. New attitude: I’m getting in touch with my inner douche, I want to win, and I want to feel like I deserve it. I don’t want to play nice anymore. New Focus: Since I lost that gorgeous girl to another guy already, I’m going back and making up for things I failed at before. My athletic career has been a joke. So now I’m joining an MMA fight league and I WILL win, not just 1, but several fights. I will become very good at fighting. New Lifestyle: I’m partying a lot more now. I find what I can and go as often as I can. I will meet as many people as I can. I don’t want to be locked down anymore. I’m breaking free.

----

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

BlueJohn46 BlueJohn46
18-21, M
3 Responses Feb 10, 2010

good luck. try to stay on track

good to know you John. And good luck with the test. I love the verse at the end so true.

I envy you. I wish that I had someone to love me as you loved this "gorgeous girl." A lot of times change can be a great thing. I know I am in the process of changing my outlook on things along with my attitude. I wish you the best of luck! If you want to talk I am here. We are in similar shoes.