Your Past Adds To Our Character, But The Choice Of Which Character Is With You...

I come from a past filled with all forms of abuse and the sadness behind that is that the ones that commited such terrible acts against me - carries on with their lives daily - oblivious to what they have done...This fact use to bother me to the greatest extent known, but no more...I am who i am thanks to what i have been through and yes it sounds like a cliche but its sooooo true. Yes i have flaws in my personality today due to past issues i still need to process correctly, but i am not the person that was abused, i am not the victim, but rather the survivor...I survived being molested at the age of 5 - something my mom knew about and shoved under the carpet, i survived date rape when i was 12 by a man i 'loved', survived rape when i was 16 cause i had one too many and an evil force noted that and used it to his advantage. Almost married a physically abusive man and grew up in a domestically violent home...But guess what - i am an awesome person and i am okay. I have survived all of that and today i can truly say i am remarkable. I am happy (with the general heartbreaks and delimmas), i have a wonderful job that i thoroughly enjoy, i write beautiful books, have awesome friends, a great family (the ones that are still around) and most important i have an awesome daughter whom i protect and guide with all my heart...Watching her grow, teaches me daily to heal. I know that i would never want her to feel an ounce of the pain i did and therefore mould her to the best of my ability based on heartfelt knowledge...She will never endure what i did and with her never enduring, my pain vanishes into nothingness...You are your future and your know, you are not your past...That was merely experiences to strenghten your character...Without those terrible things happening - i would not be who i am, and i am proud of who i am today...I would not want it any other way - sounds slightly warped - i know...But its the truth...I am my now and my future - i am not my past! xoxo
Hertia Hertia
31-35, F
Mar 15, 2010