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I Don't Remember My Childhood

5 years ago It started out as a regular day for me.  I was a sophmore in high school, had alot of friends, and pretty much just loved life.  There was this one kid that I could never stand, he as well had mutual feelings for me.  We would always get into fights, whether it be physical or verbal, but nothing too serious.  Well, that al changed in the December of 05'.  I was at school like any other day, and went to the restroom before class.  Well, this kid walked in as well.  He started insulting me and of course, I kept talking right back, just like any other time.  But then it got weird...I felt this ***** in my left leg.  As i turned away from the sink i saw scissors sticking out of my left calf.  I just stood there looking at him, he went pale and ran out of the bathroom.  So i was literally standing there with scissors in my leg and an alarming rate of blood on the ground.  So i walked down to the nurse (leaving behind me a trail of footprints and shocked looks).  i finally reach the nurse and of course the little bastard who threw the scissors was standing right there pointing at me and accusing me of how i did it myself in the bathroom and he just happened to walk in on it.  So i tried to explain calmly how stabbing oneself in the leg is not a successful way to commit suicide and told them what happened.  Onto the point of the story so bear with me friends.  I was sent to the local hospital and was there on lockdown for a week until being shipped off to Salt Lake City, Utah for a rehabilitaiton program.  It was like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.  The program was in the SLC valley in this city called South Jordan. The kids who went there had problems from drugs, to violence, to alcohol, to even sex.  The program was level based (0C being the lowest and 5A being the highest).  Until you reached a certain rank you were not allowed to look up out side since that was considered a run risk.  you had to have 2 guys hold on to your wrists when you first got there from the moment you woke up to the moment u slept (besides the bathroom).  I really rather not bore you with the details because that would take a lifetime to explain.  Anyways, Im out now, graduated with the highest rank and learned many valuable lessons.  I am a much different person than i was, but i have also lost something very valuable to me.  my memory is blank when i try to think of my life before the program.  i know there was brainwashing involved (it was necessary due to the other kids in the program) but i didn't think it would affect me this much.  whenever i catch up with old friends and talk about old times i feel like an idiot not being able to remember alot of those memories.  its frustrating to me because i feel like i have had most of my life just cut out from the book and thrown away.

Tiredinsomniac Tiredinsomniac 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 6, 2010

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i symphathise with you.... it's very sad not to remember the part of your life, but I think you should hope that the best moments ahead :)



good luck!

Life teaches you some crazy things thats for sure. But it all makes you a better person in the end. Learning to become the guy im sure you are today, is a gift in itself!:)