Something I will never fully understand is the past. I have one. You have one. We all have one.

Depending on our age and life experiences, some of us may come with more baggage than others. Our past changes us. It molds us. It scars us.

I'm not attached to my past. When somebody is out of my life, they are gone. I carry a few memories that randomly pop up, but I never entertain them for more than a few seconds. I carry a few scars, and have some trust issues.

But I don't hold onto the idea of the person.
That wouldn't be fair to the people in my present and future.

My ex wife would wear jewelry from her first husband, kept pictures of ex husbands and boyfriends, even kept in touch with some of them. She stayed stuck in that part of her life.

It kept a part of her occupied. It sold me a partial person.

My current girlfriend hangs on to the thoughts of an ex-boyfriend that recently died.
He did her wrong and he died well after they split, but now she's grabbed onto his memory.

Leaving postings on his facebook, sending him messages, keeping a memorial from his funeral tacked on her wall, taking items to his grave.

I often see people that are obsessed with the ones that have hurt them and the ones that have died.

I don't understand it.
I can't understand it because I don't carry people around like that.
It's too much weight to bear.
It has to be overwhelming to keep that constant sadness in your head.

It's not fair to me.
I can't fight that which doesn't exist anymore, that which only lives in memories.

RussL RussL
26-30, M
Aug 26, 2014