I'm in my young teens and am very anxious and excited about my future, but this is because I managed to recover from depression.

During my secondary school years I made a lot of friends and had a great time! After that period, I started to lose a lot of friends and bit by bit I lost contact with most of them. On the other side, my relationship with my parents and family in general aren't that great and I think it's because of the class that I'm in. My class is known to be for recalcitrant students who learn slower than the most. I won't admit that I'm a fast learner but I do generally well in class. In fact, I topped my class, but because I was in a not as good class, my parents think that I'm not trying hard enough and are treating me badly (definitely not abusing) than they do with my sister who has a crappy attitude but is in a good class.

I managed to get out of my class and am now doing rather fine. I also made a friend who's a teacher who I secretly learn a lot about studying tips and learning how to learn from him. I think he's great person and he's adamant that I treat him as a friend.

After being admitted into a good class, my parents seem to have a changed attitude towards me and I just begin to realise that their behaviour towards me isn't because I was from a bad class but because that is just who they are. I used to think my father is making fun of me and all that but I now seem to get an inkling that he does that to socialise.

Upon knowing this and with the teenage factors at hand, I gradually became depressed. It got so bad that I couldn't understand what my family want and my aunt who I hardly knew hinted that I should talk to my little sister. And so I did, my depression is much better now.

What I realise is, when it got so bad my parents didn't know how to ease my feelings but in fact were adding to my depression. I actually went to talk to my teacher about it and it got better.

Right now, having recovered, I try to interact with them like we used to when I was much younger and when everything was great; but somehow I just can't feel that spirit of family anymore. Not a hint and not a glimmer. I love my little sister and she's everything to me, but I don't feel that way with my parents and I just don't understand why.

Could it be because I had a girlfriend? We broke up a year before I moved into a good class. She had to emigrate out of the country.

What's wrong with me? Does anyone out there share this sentiment or does this remind you of something that you'd went through?

Please share.
KaiWong KaiWong
22-25, M
2 Responses Aug 28, 2014

Everything you feel is normal. I have seven children, they are all grown up now. A lot of the feels you get is because of your hormones are out of balance right now & your mind is still growing. A person's brain is NOT fully develop until age 25 give or take a year. As you get older everything (your feelings ) should fall into place. Believe me my kids would get in & out of trouble etc. Now that they are grown they all turned out to be good adults. I wish you the best.

Thank you. You really made me feel better.

The reason I think my breaking-up with my girlfriend is because I thought perhaps the break-up have soiled my definition of love and thus I do not feel it anymore.

That sounded pretty stupid. I know. :/ I'm in a catch-22