...mum?

Ive given her so many chances. Shes a *****, a cow, I wish she was dead. Shes not a mother and I disown her. Gods save me from this monster. No one understands no one has a clue. Not all mothers are hunky0dory and not all of them are motherly. You might look at this now and this this person is so unappreciative but there is nothing to appreciate I can assure you. 
She abuses her kids, shes unfair about them and is jealous of them. I realised this as I grew up. Shes so unfair she doesnt know discipline and she doesnt know motherhood. I wish she was dead. I wish I could kill her. So many times Ive tried convincing myself shes the best but shes not and I cant help it. Why does it have to be me stuck with a piggish wreckless mother? Shes stupid and I wish she dies. She thinks being a motehr is buying expensive clothes and overfeeding the kids, she thinks being a mother is priorotising your son over your daughters, she thinks being a mother does not require affection or kindness she thinks its about hitting them and challenging them, trying to beat them even though theyre your children.

She thinks shes a mother. I know shes an imposter. She pretends like shes a mother, shes not. She thinks life is about marriage and what people say about you; its NOT. she cares more about what people SAY about her children than the wellbeing of her children itself. She thinks she s a mother. Shes not. She thinks we should be happy we have her; were not. And she tries to force us to like things we dont; we wont. Because she is NOT my mother, I disown such a disgrace to mothers. Id rather live and die in poverty with a caring mother because they have morale; rather than live in a fake, make-believe materialistic world with a horrible mother. Id rather not be born at all of it means I absolutely need to have HER as a mother. As for you's who read this and truly love your mothers; I swear by God you are so lucky and I think you should be on your knees in appreciation because I can tell you now; I wish I had a mother. Sometimes, I wish I was a child, a toddler, so I can be adopted by people who maybe really do care about their children. I know sometimes tha isnt the case, but how in all of this can a mother be so heartless? Thats what she is. 
My sister, who is younger than me has no respect whatsoever. She comes downstairs ordering (yes as in commanding) me to get the shopping. I was standing behind a door and as I make my way out she slams the door against me. I scream, and my sister says it was an accident. Do bear in mind that it was a see through glass door, and she knew I was there. She pretends like she didnt know and my mother screams at me. I defend myself saying it was my sister, then she says no on will want me because I argue so much. Then my sister slinks of slyly, avoiding the whole situation. In the end my mum comes downstairs and beats me. My sister does not get the blame for anything no matter how much I explain to my 'mother' she wont believe me, in fact she hit me more for defending myself. I wont forget how she used to stamp on my chest when I was younger just because I used to get my clothes dirty. She did the same thing to my brother, and hes in a mental institute. I swear by God this seems so much out of reality and I used to think it could never happen; but it does and it has. Men dont just hit women, you have abusive women too. I have been brought up in a broken home, but I hope it doesnt break me...I didnt do anything, I was just born into a sad family.
DownsideUp DownsideUp
18-21
Jul 18, 2010