I haven't cried since I was 13 years old. I'm 35 now.
You might think that it's a good thing, but I've been attending funerals, I've had people close to me cry their eyes out, but I'm just sitting there. It's like I can't feel anything. Maybe you react differently with age, like crying is easier when you're younger, and as you grow up you can withstand a lot more? I don't know. If that's the case I should have cried more as a teenager. Those were not happy days.
My little sister has always been the complete opposite when it comes to crying. She just looks like she can cry anytime, anywhere for even the smallest issues. The tears just keep on coming.
But with me I'm just emotionless. I know I have feelings of sadness. I have a lump in my throat sometimes, but when something tragic has happened and everyone is sitting inside crying, I just feel like I have to get away. So usually when too many people are crying around me, I leave the house and take a long walk by myself. It's like I need to clear my head of all the bad thoughts. I don't cry a single drop, but I can't stand being in a house full of people crying either. So I need to get some space.
I often wonder if it's my Tourette's that is to blame for all this. And I wonder what it takes to make ME cry? And if and when it happens, will it be a nonstop thing, catching up for all those years without a single drop? I know this is one of the many questions I'm gonna ask my therapist, when I start cognitive behavioural therapy in February 2015. I'm guessing that it is something that therapist might find interesting.
Sometimes I'm a little embarrassed I don't cry. Because when a grandparent passes, and everyone around you cries, it's almost an insult I'm not producing a single tear.
But then again, maybe I cope with sadness my own way? And if that makes me a freak, so be it.
Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979
36-40, M
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

Everyone expresses sadness differently, some with tears, some without. It doesn't mean anyone's way is right or wrong, it just is what it is. I went through a five year period where I was literally unable to cry. I used to purposely study people who cried, their hand motions and facial gestures, and I would practice trying to cry in front of a mirror at home. Didn't work. I rented heart breaking movies, like a Titanic. Didn't work. Then something tragic happened in my life, and suddenly I was able to feel and cry... Probably way too much. Now I cry at the drop of a hat, so I went from one extreme to the other. Well, I'm rambling now, but I just wanted to share that your body is wise, and if or when you get to a point that you can cry, then it will happen. If it doesn't happen, no worries. Your way of expression is unique and perfectly fine for you right now.

Thank you for that beautiful comment :) I'm still not crying, but it's nice to know that others have experienced this and that it will happen sooner or later :)
It's easy to feel awkward around people who have experienced something incredibly tragic, and then you feel you should cry, but nothing happens. And then you feel ashamed and maybe that something is wrong with you somehow. Or that people might notice and find you distasteful. But it's nice to know it's normal, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel :) So thank you :)

You're welcome.