Not A Good Girlfriend
So here is my story, and if my boyfriend knew I was talking about this online with strangers he'd for sure break up with me. Anyways I can't seem to get anything right in the relationship i'm in right now. I seem to say or do something he doesn't like and it gets way out of hand, I don't understand why I do the things the do. Last night I threw my phone and broke it, I'm so stupid! I seem to go in to a blank state of mind sometimes when I'm upset and do something out of wack like that. Anyways I just can't seem to get any relationship right...this would be considered to me the third real relationship and I feel I keep ruining it, but he manages to stay with me after everything I don't understand that part either. I've never been this emotional in all my life, not even when i was a baby did i cry much. I just don't know what to do...when things feel like they are going great i do something to ruin it and i just have no idea how to fix anything. i'm madly in love with this guy and i'm afraid i may lose him because of my stupidity :'( i just wan to be with him and nobody else and i can't express that, if i try he shuts me down because he's heard it before but for me it's very serious. i get moody sometimes after work because i'm around people all day so if he does something to annoy me i snap...i can't help it....i just want to make things right and us stop doing what we have been for the past months, i want us to be happy, i want him to be happy...i'm scared...and i don't want the solution to be breaking up with him because if i walked out he wouldn't walk after me he'd just let me go...i'm just an awful girlfriend and i doubt i'll ever get married.