Not A Good Girlfriend

So here is my story, and if my boyfriend knew I was talking about this online with strangers he'd for sure break up with me. Anyways I can't seem to get anything right in the relationship i'm in right now. I seem to say or do something he doesn't like and it gets way out of hand, I don't understand why I do the things the do. Last night I threw my phone and broke it, I'm so stupid! I seem to go in to a blank state of mind sometimes when I'm upset and do something out of wack like that. Anyways I just can't seem to get any relationship right...this would be considered to me the third real relationship and I feel I keep ruining it, but he manages to stay with me after everything I don't understand that part either. I've never been this emotional in all my life, not even when i was a baby did i cry much. I just don't know what to do...when things feel like they are going great i do something to ruin it and i just have no idea how to fix anything. i'm madly in love with this guy and i'm afraid i may lose him because of my stupidity :'( i just wan to be with him and nobody else and i can't express that, if i try he shuts me down because he's heard it before but for me it's very serious. i get moody sometimes after work because i'm around people all day so if he does something to annoy me i snap...i can't help it....i just want to make things right and us stop doing what we have been for the past months, i want us to be happy, i want him to be happy...i'm scared...and i don't want the solution to be breaking up with him because if i walked out he wouldn't walk after me he'd just let me go...i'm just an awful girlfriend and i doubt i'll ever get married.
jcrum11 jcrum11
4 Responses Mar 1, 2011

If your so called boy friend dares to break up with him, get you another one real quick so you let him know you aint thinking about him. Women rule. Never cry over no man. girl please. If he is worth you he'd change for you.<br />
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Please don't waste another minute even get your blood pressure raised thinking of him.

Being in a relationship doesn't mean molding yourself to fit the person you're with. Truth is, if you're not with someone who makes you feel accepted and comfortable, it's no one's fault. There's always going to be someone who will understand and help you with your struggles. Don't worry, if you just go with the flow and not worry too much about a relationship, things will work out in the end:]

Actually since I've wrote this things have been better. I feel more happy and I just can't even explain it. Thanks for commenting though, I appreciate it. I just hope it stays this way

You aren't stupid. Don't let anyone tell you that. Everyone has flaws they need to work out, but it doesn't mean there is something wrong with them.

What changed or what did you do differently? It's scary how much I can relate to what you wrote.