Live With A Lie.

I can no longer do what I am doing, I am lying to myself. My baby isnt going to make it, and the god honest truth is that its my fault. I have been lying to myself to protect myself, I cant do this alone. The doctor says the best thing right now is to abort the baby. I cant believe that I actually have to face this, and face it alone. Maybe this is a punishment or something. I already love this baby, but I know that it wont make it. The heartbeat gets more and more faint each time I go to the doctor. I just dont know anymore. I am scared and alone. Yes I have my sugar daddy but I am only something that looks good on his arm, he doesnt care about me. I have to face the truth. And honestly Stacy is the only reason that I am . Once I lose this baby I dont know how exactly I will react. I hate myself because even the doctor told me the reason is because I was on drugs and because of my withdrawals. I cant live with the fact that its all my fault that this child will not live.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
3 Responses May 16, 2012

Hugz

I am so sorry to hear that. U need to stay strong for urself. Agaim my Simpathies.

((((Hugs))))<br />
Beating yourself up about it though...is not going to help get you free of drugs.<br />
I'm really dreadfully sorry this happened, but I don't want you to give up trying to get a handle on your addiction, ok?<br />
((((Hugs))))<br />
You've had a really rotten life so far.<br />
You deserve a better one.