Haunted By My Past ...

I loved well thought I loved a man for three years he lived in the states we met 3 years priod when I was 20 , he was a player but I didnt want to believe it and 3 years later i stupidly and impusivly went all the way there only to realise he was nothing special just a guy living a crap existence and liked the adulation , after a few times of seeing me he realised he wouldnt have his way with me and left me there one point i was out of money and he got his friend to drop of some money at the hostel when he worked 20 minutes down the road . This guy is now married and probably doing the same **** to her as he did with all his exes .... he told me they always left him to go back to their exes . hmm ... I am 31 now and was 23 then I still get flash backs and still question how someone can be so week and cruel , he was a christian !

I learnt my lesson very well but it was tough people kept telling me to just move on and i knew I had to and wanted to but it still bothers me from time to time and effects my outlook on meeting people and relationships , i put a wall up I think because I'm terrafied of being so badly let down by someone the way he  did . 

I wonder if he ever finds himself thinking about it and regrets it  Ihope he does !
sonkamoo31 sonkamoo31
May 13, 2012