Emotionally Incomplete

I've never been able to express my emotions so they mostly come out as anger or depression. I have always been detached from other peoples emotions too. I get confused which emotion I'm meant to be feeling. Also as I'm sometimes expressionless people around me can't read my emotions from my face, and I don't know how to explain to people how I feel. Some emotions I just don't understand anyway. I couldn't bond with my mum mainly because I didn't know how to love her, I always believed it was a learnt feeling, I didn't realise it was something that came naturally. My relationships have been totally disasters because I can't give what is expected of me and as I got older I thought that to show someone I loved them I had to have sex with them, the relationships fell apart. I don't know what it feels like to be loved, even though I've been told in relationships that they love me, well they were staying with me for the time being so thats what it must of been like to be loved. I don't understand what its all about. I learnt a lot off watching movies how to act in relationships, but my fairy-tale endings just never happened.
amigoodenough amigoodenough
36-40, F
7 Responses Oct 18, 2007

Thanks for your comments.<br />
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I have a great cure for my lack of facial ex<x>pression and emotion!<br />
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It is my 12 year old daughter, she notices when I have no ex<x>pressions and quietly reminds me which ex<x>pression I should be using. Its a fantastic way of knowing which emotion I should be using too, so if she tells me I should be smiling then I know I should appear happy, it really works!!!!!

i also learned to smile on cue by watching movies. they may be fake smiles but they can still be very helpful. i feel anger and dispair. i honestly hate putting on masks for my family and friends. i wish that i could just be myself but i'm afraid that i'd scare them all...but this comment should be about you not me. i think that you have a better than average understanding of yourself and i believe that you can find that magical creature named happiness.

I just figured out what my problem was today so Im doind some research. I thought everyone else was just over reacting. But now I know I under react. I felt like a hollow tree standing in a big empty field til I found out there are other people like me. I dont feel any emotions. If I do its brief. Usually I show anger but Ive learned to keep my temper under control. I put on masks that fit the situation. I sort of feel like I'm living a lie by doing this but I dont want other people to think I'm cold because I'm not.

If you learn to smile on cue, laugh on cue from studying other peoples reactions/emotions then it doesn't matter if movies are fake, I don't take advice from them I lean emotions from them, I guess Sirking was born with their emotions built in, but for those of us who haven't we have to learn from somewhere.<br />
Don't be so judgmental!

Movie relationships are FAKE. Don't take advice from them.

I am the same way, although I have gotten better. My boyfriend and I have worked over the past two years on this and I've become able to notice some emotions that I couldn't before. You may have a case of Alexithymia, look it up, reading about it helped me start to fix things.

Thank you! You have told my story to an almost perfect T...Everyone keeps saying there is something wrong with me because I just don't really feel as gushy and mushy as everyone else...But there ain't really nothing wrong, it's just everyone is made differently, and some folks can't accept that.