I love my mistress, but I love my wife. Tired of the Weakness.OK. Here is my story.
I am 44, married for 14 years and have 2 children, 12 and 8.
I recently ended my affair with my 29 year old mistress of 3 years.
Well, it was kind of me.......
We met at work when she was married for 11 months to a man who did not trust her and was verbally abusive.
I am married to a woman who is a great person and was, and remains, faithful.
She works overnight and I work 50 miles from home.
For years we were living like roommates. Sex occurred less than 6 times a year.
At first it was an issue, As time went on we became complacent and sex was just no longer a part of our marriage. We had it when it was appropriate but I never really desired it any longer.
I was my mistress's boss at work. She was always by my side and seemed to make it her mission to make my life easier.
She would never refuse anything I asked, stay late and was always cheerful to be around. We became good friends and spoke often.
After a while, the conversations became more personal and we revealed our unhappiness to one another.
As you may guess, we became intimate and fell in love. She left her husband 6 months later. I never asked her to and told her I was not ready to leave my family. I think she was halfway out the door already.
Fast Forward 2 1/2 years later............
I signed a lease to an apartment and told my wife I am leaving her.
She doesn't know why, and I just tell her I am unhappy.
She is now worried about me and thinks I am going through a midlife crisis.
Time comes to tell my daughter and I can't.
I am a father who has been hands on their whole life.
My wife is a nurse and works overnights so I spent many night feeding, diapering and loving my children.
I am in love with them.
I tell my mistress I can't tell my daughter and we break up.
a month later she call me and we have lunch, then fall back into bed.
For another 4 months.
She said she will give me more time.
We stopped talking again until she called me for my birthday.
We had lunch AGAIN and went to bed AGAIN.
This time something was different.....
We were great for a week, sleeping with each other constantly, professing love for one another by text, by email and phone calls.
Then one Saturday it stopped.
She was civil but it was different.
She told me she can't fall back in the same pattern and cannot give me 100% anymore. If she does and we break up she can't see us trying again.
I realize how hard it has been for her and I am now trying to do the right thing.
I believe she is seeing someone else and wants me around as a comfort zone.
For 2 weeks I called her with quick replies. I said I love you with the response " I don't feel good talking about those feelings with you anymore" only to be followed the next day with a string of I love you's.
One word answers to texts, followed by no contact at all during the weekend.
She is at a club every weekend.
I finally got the point.
I called her this Monday and told her I cannot stay with her and hold her hand while she gets over me.
I am letting her go.
She cries and tells me I don't believe you are leaving me. I will never find a man like you. Who will take care of you?I am sorry.
.....But never, don't go.
I know she is done and I know she is interested in someone else and ask her.
She tells me there is this friend who wants something more and she may give him a chance.
I am not stupid and I know she is probably already with him.
I realize that so many people are going to respond to this story and tell me what an *******, low life I am.
Truth is, I'm not really, I am lost.
I am not asking for validation here.
What I am asking for advice on how to let her go, stop pining for her and work on my marriage.
My wife has been loyal to me for 17 years. I know this so much that I don't even have to think about it anymore.
She is not a saint and has forgotten about me for years. She no longer wore makeup and started demanding things as soon as I walked in the door.
I wanted her to treat me like she did when we were dating.
Look pretty for me, put on makeup, watch your figure and take care of yourself. Show me I am your man.
She does now.
I see the effort she is making and I love her for it.
I just need to let this other girl go. (I did that already, just have to keep her gone)
Her birthday is the Sept 16 and I have a feeling she is OK being separated because I will call her then and we can have lunch again.
I don't want to call. I want to get her out of my mind. I want to fall back in love with my wife.