Reunited With My First Love......

Here's a quick reflection of the past.....My boyfriend and I were crazy in love with each other, I mean the chemistry was out of control. The problem was he lived 8 hours away, being 16 & 18 that was difficult. We broke up because of problems caused by living so far apart. I was depressed totally! My Best friend wanted to cheer me up and set me up with a guy that I actually knew from Jr. High, we started seeing each other, he liked to party and really wasn't the greatest BF. So we broke up....started seeing My love again, still living away, then the 2nd one came back and I was seeing both. New years weekend 88' BF #1 called said he was coming down to spend the weekend with me, BF#2 invited me to the desert for the weekend...hmmmmm. After ALOT of debating I decided to go to the desert. #1 came down found out I went to the desert and was completely broken hearted. Wound up marrying #2 at the age of 19, #1 came back to win me back after he had started his own business, became successful and was able to take care of me. Instead he found out I was married and pregnant with my first child. And left without ever talking to me. Well my husbands infidelities started when were about 21 and since he has had 4 that I know of, he is an alcoholic, I know there is more, all one night stands. Three years ago he quit drinking. But the relationship is severely damaged, I know its over. I found #1 on Facebook! He is single based all his past relationships on me....had certain rules because he never wanted to make the same mistakes he made with me. Was married for 5 years but divorced. He thinks I should work it out with my husband and that he is happy to just have me back in his life. Says 21 years is a long time to not fix the marriage and just give up. I told my husband it was over for me, he moved out I filed for divorce. Met #1 a few times, he can't explain the feeling I give him just a warm fuzzy feeling but is very respectful of my marriage. As usual a very genuine guy. I got very scared, and my husband asked me to go to counseling, moved back home and truly is being everything I want in a husband, I mean it is almost sickening. Oh by the way my husband joined a dating site and was talking to one woman on there a week after we split up, he failed to tell me this til our first counseling session and after I let him move home. I just don't have the trust. Most of all I can't stop thinking about #1 and we still text each other and we have met for lunch recently. Like I said before he is a genuine guy and is respecting me and not pushing for anything, he's just hanging out waiting for me to say Let's do this! I am so confused??? I really need some honest unbiased advice??!! Oh and we have 3 children together, 21yrs, 20yrs and a 6yr old. HELP!!!
jburton71 jburton71
1 Response Mar 29, 2012

it's hard to trust someone again after they've cheated on you. and usually the cheating repeats. i know how it feels, a lot of people around me have said it's impossible to trust again and though it seems that way, i really think that after time, i could, or maybe i'm naive. it sounds like you hate #2, but that could be because of all the things you have been through with him, and you're feeling angry. #1 sounds very promising and sounds like he's attracted to you. I guess you better think carefully about who you really love and then stick to it. Unfortunately, that's something only you can decide best, because you know best how you feel.