She Kicked Me Out....

When I was 13 I was raped by my uncle (my mother's brother)... I told my mom right after it happened and she didn't believe me, well I became pregnant. She told me that I had to get an abortion but that is not a choice for me... She kicked me out and told me she didn't care were I went as long as she didn't ever see my again. I went to a friends house for a couple days but her mom wouldn't let me stay there. So I called my grandpa who was 4 states away and he let me come live there... So he flew to were I was living and picked me up.... We tried to get my close but my mom said I couldn't have them because she paid for them... After we got back to my grandpa's he bought me new clothes and and everything... After I got new clothes i shipped back the clothes that I took the night she kicked me out with a note that said "You paid for these too"... I had my daughter and 4 years later I found out I was pregnant again but this time with twins.... So now I am 20 with 3 little girls, My mother still has not seen one photo of her grandkids that I know of... I still can not forgive her for all she has done.....

BTW: My grandpa took me to the court house to file charges on my uncle... He got 10 years in prison with no parole and he has to go on the child abuse registry   
weirdkelsee weirdkelsee
22-25, F
14 Responses Jun 25, 2011

Hang in there, my mother kicked me out probably the fourth time. She also hates me but won't admit. Just hang in there...

Hi First off, you are a brave young woman to have gone through your whole ordeal starting at the age of 13. My situation is similar to yours, but thankfully (and I hope you are not offended) it is not as bad as yours. I was not raped by my uncle and got pregnant. But I have been getting kicked out of my house since the age of 13 (I'm 36 years old now). Too make a long story short, my mother is a narcissistic mother. I just had this epiphany last Sunday when my Mom kicked me out again from the house when I told her that I didn't want her to clean out my gym bag because I use it. I'm renting a hotel room now since Sunday and my money is running low and I will have no choice but to go back home on Monday. I am dreading it and even planning to talk to hotel management and see if we can work out a fixed rate plan (I highly doubt it because it is a Radisson hotel and I'm sure they wouldn't care to know about my personal issues about living at home). But I truly can't afford my own apartment right now because I'm a part-time student and I only work part-time as a freelance writer. So I don't have full-time income. Anyway back to your story about not being able to forgive your mother. Like my mom, I can say your Mom is a narcissistic mother. A 'real' mother or parent ALWAYS put their kids emotional and physical needs before them. Good loving parents/mothers should always protect their children from any harm, that includes harm and sexual abuse from family members. In your case, your Mom didn't protect you at all. She denied it, and who cares if it was her brother. YOU WERE 13 YEARS OLD, YOU WERE ONLY A CHILD! As a good mother, she would've pressed charges against your uncle, but just reading that she reacted this way - denying it, thinking you were lying, then kicked you out. Well it only reminded me of my own Mom when she started kicking me out at the age of 13, when she got into one of her "I hate the world" moods and screamed and yelled at me to get out of the house. I ran to my best friend's house when my Mom kicked me out for the first time at 13. My best friend at the time lived with her mom who was a divorced single Mom. When I ran to their home, crying and hysterical because my Mom had kicked me out, my best friend's mother said, " Why would your mother kick you out of the house? If you didn't know my daughter, where would've you went? Doesn't your mother realize that you are a child alone in public and that is very dangerous. No matter how angry I get, I would never kick my kids out of the house." I stayed until the evening, had dinner with them, and my best friend's Mom drove me home that night. She wanted to talk to my Mom about it, but I simply told her that my Mom was up in her bedroom and would never come out to talk to her. It happened again when I was 17 years old, when I dated a black guy (I'm asian, btw). My Mom was so disgusted that I brought a black guy to a family party(he was pretty washed, kind of like Steve Erkel back in the 1990's lol. I know, I already had strange taste in men). And she took it like I embarrassed her at the family party and when it was done, she kicked me out the next week when she blew up. I stayed with some of my newly registered college friends in their shared apartment and I left high school for about 2 weeks. I liked the independence and rooming with others, but I had no full time job and being a high school student, I had to go back to school. Then my Mom regularly kicked me out the house here and there throughout my 20's. So I would work all kinds of odd jobs in waitressing, promotional modeling, bartending, teaching, retail, even online stripping (chat hostessing on Flirtforfree). Just so I could make ends meet and be away from home. My Mom was never satisfied. She acted jealous of me when I asked her to come to one of my pageants (eventually promotional modeling turned into mainstream modeling and I even got opportunities to go to Las Vegas, New York and L.A to do some gigs). When I finally got accepted to compete in a national pageant which everyone has heard about called Miss Universe, I felt proud about it. And when I asked her if she and my Dad could come watch the pageant, she flat out said no and yelled and screamed at me for joining a pageant because I had to pay a sponsorship fee. She was furious at me for accepting to a join a pageant because in her own words, "I will never win, so what's the point in joining?" When I told her I had to pay for my dress and that was it, she told me that I was on my own and she would have nothing to do with it. So I also graduated with a Bachelors of Arts in psychology from an accredited university the same time I participated in the pageant. So she was right, I didn't win the national crown to compete in the Miss Universe pageant that everyone sees on TV once a year. But I had a blast with all the girls, I made a ton of friends that I still keep in touch with on Facebook till this day, and I got a lot of exposure and credit in my home town's entertainment industry. So when that ended, I was a newly graduate and that's when my Mom got even more mean with me and started pressuring me to get a full time job and get out of her house. I tried my best to get a full time job, but you know catch 22 - you have no experience, and they only want to hire people with experience. So I reverted to what I already knew - modeling and entertaining. She went nuts, she called me every bad name in the book adding that my degree was a waste because I wasn't even practicing it. So I continued to get kicked out every so often, but this time I was 'prepared.' I subconsciously started dating men who lived out of my country. I liked long-distance relationships. I didn't date guys in my local area or didn't have their own place, because the way I looked it if I had a boyfriend who had his own place, then when my Mom would get into her moods and kick me out, at least I could go to my boyfriend's house and crash there. (Great basis of dating, right? lol). So from 23-24, I lived off-and-on in New York with my American boyfriend, I would stay with him for up to 3 months, then leave spend some time at home, tip toe and always cautious that Mom would snap and kick me out again. Then at 25, I met a European man while I was modelling in Vegas. We fell in love (or I thought it was love at the time) and of course I took it as the ultimate escape to get away from my Mom. So after 1 year of Skyping with this European man, I left home (my Mom was happy to see me leave because it was Europe across the pond where she would never have to see or deal with me again). So at 27, I packed my bags and left and went to live with this guy in Europe. We lasted 1 month together because I found out he was gay. (For him he says he was bi-sexual, but today in 2014 he is out of the closet). I felt deceived, but at the same time, I felt relieved that I was no in Europe and away from Mom. So I found my own apartment and worked as an English teacher. It was great because I was away from home and really far away from my Mom. I stayed 6 years in Europe, I only visited my parents 3 x during that 6 year stint because I knew that if I came home to visit I would risk my Mom kicking me out again. And quite frankly, I didn't want to spend thousands of dollars to fly 'home' and get my Mom in her moods, get kicked out, and literally have no where to stay besides my apartment that was across the pond. When I visited she was nice, maybe, because she knew I was leaving to go back to Europe and it 'literally' was only a visit.By the 4th year in Europe, I had met a new European guy and I moved in with him after 8 months of dating. We got engaged and in 2012 after 8 months of living together (all together 16 months together), he broke up with me because I expressed that after getting married, I wanted to raise a family in my home country, not in Europe. He didn't like that too much and said I had to adjust my mentality to Europe and if I were to marry him, I would have to have his kids in Europe, not in my home country. So I had no choice, not enough money and not enough will power to move to another European country, so I went home and lived with my parents. When I returned in 2012, my Mom was sympathetic that I got dumped (he came to meet my family when we moved in together, and everyone assumed that we were engaged because they all knew we were living together). But it didn't take long for her narcissism to seep in. I got a part-time teaching job right away when I arrived home because i've been programmed all these years to appease my Mom. I kept quiet, didn't model any more (basically, when I went to Europe modelling ended), didn't live like a wild university student and was pretty responsible as I was also doing another part-time freelance writing job. I needed my own space so I would take 'mini vacations' in hotels and spas to relax when my Mom would get into her moods. I already developed 'sensors' for her moods. When I knew she was 50% on her way to getting angry and yelling those words, "Get out of my house!" I was proactive and already booked hotels or called my cousin and asked if I could crash at her place to avoid the confrontation. Now it's 2014, and she just did it to me last week. And here I am pouring out my heart and soul on this forum to you, this young, innocent, lady who has been done wrong and has way more consequences than I do. So the point is my dear, I can totally understand that it is hard to forgive your mother. I've felt the same way as you when she would kick me out and I would be sitting in my car in a parking lot trying to figure out where I would be crashing that night, contemplating if I should just sleep in the car, and to see if I had enough money to go to a hotel. I know that feeling of emptiness and helplessness because your mother has chosen whatever it is she has chosen to turn her back on you. It is detrimental to one's overall psyche, self-esteem, outlook on life, relationships, etc. But remember you have yourself intact, you have survived this horrible ordeal (btw, I'm glad your grandfather helped you charge your uncle), and you now have 3 kids that you are now a mother too. I am sure you look at your kids and love them unconditionally. I am sure you look at them and think that you never want them to go through what you went through, that's is why you have promised yourself to never be like your mother. That is the ultimate forgiveness - loving yourself, moving on and doing what is best for your kids. It is your Mom's problem for being a narcisstic mom, she probably didn't have a good up bringing (my mom's is a from a third world country where her parents neglected her because there were 13 of them), so it's obvious that our mothers have some kind of ****** up background. That is their problem, not ours. it's okay not to forgive her, just as long as you love yourself and continue to do what's best for you and your kids to make you and your family happy. She should've been there to support you and help you, and she's the one who should be able to forgive herself from practically abandoning you. So now you should just look at your path of life like Frank Sinatra's famous song, "I did it my way." Clearly you were raised by a narcissistic mother, so there are tons of online help for those who are children of narcissistic mothers and it says the path of healing is accepting that your mother will never change, but doing things that will make you happy is part of the healing process. God bless you and your family. You really brought insight to my own situation, I am not alone and it wasn't our fault. We were only innocent children when our mother's kicked us out, we should not be faulted for it. But I know you will be okay, just the mere fact that you were brave enough to talk about it online is contention that you are on the road of recovery. You were always good enough for your Mom, but it is her problem for not accepting it. Take care of yourself, Anonymous daughter who gets kicked out of the house on a regular basis by her mother.

Wow, Well done on moving forward, I find it hard to believe a mother can be like this and truly believe and will advocate criminal laws against such monsters. You are obviously a very special person to have not only came out of this without plummeting into the depressed realm but your carefree nature to post your photos suggest you are not victimised and show people that being abused is nothing to be ashamed of! It is simply not your problem. Best wishes!!

i feel for you honey,you are one strong beautiful lady!<3

I am sorry that your uncle only got 10 years in prison. If it were up to me, ppl who commit such hainessness deserve 10 years of toture, preceded only by a public castration.

I'm so glad your grandpa took you in, he's such a wonderful person! I can't believe your mom was like that, glad you're out of there, you deserve to be treated better. Also, I'm glad that you got justice and your uncle is in prison for what he did, he deserves it. You were also brave to tell your mom, your grandpa and to share your story. I hope nothing but the best for you and your children :-)

Your story is heartening, Kelsee; thanks.

you have faced the worst in life,may god brings you endless happiness till heavens.

Wow. You really are a strong woman. My prayers go out to you.

When your family turns your back on you it is a hurtful thing, the victim should never be blamed.<br />
A child should feel same with their family members,your mother is suffering from massive denial. She does not want to believe her own brother would hurt you that way and that she has failed you as a mother. You are a survivor and it sounds like you love your children unconditionally. You are very brave and i commend you and you have a very good Grandpa, I miss my Grandma. I'd be a much better person if she were still here.

Me thinks kelsee is not so weird! Hard working, compassionate, loving maybe. Where does the weirdness fit in? :-)<br />
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Good luck to you - your hard work will be the foundation of your new life. <br />
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Please pass on my Good wishes to a Grandfather who shows how men should treat women, especially when they are children needing our love support and encouragement. I'm glad you had someone to help you deal with a terrible event - with so many wrongs!<br />
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As to your mother's actions - it's hard not to judge but I can't imagine doing that to my kids ever. I respect their choices while trying to offer my knowledge and understanding. Maybe in time you will have an opportunity which allows you to understand the incomprehensible. <br />
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I'm not trying to minimise your mother's actions - merely to understand her motivation: it possible she blamed you? thought you'd seduced your uncle? lead him into trouble? (A 13 yr old isn't the adult in the situation - and shouldn't be held responsible for making good decisions). The fact that she didn't believe you in the first place is appalling. That must have hurt - not being believed and protected by the one who should have been there for you.<br />
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I know my mother didn't believe my 4 yr old sister when she said she'd been hurt in a similar way. I think that a case of not wanting to believe it had happened "on her watch" so to speak. It may have been easier for your mom to believe that a truthful girl has suddenly become a liar, than to believe an adult brother has become a sex-offender. The other conflict for her would have been that the victim was her daughter, and the offender her brother.<br />
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In any event, focus on those who help your life grow and who support you and your new family.<br />
You are an inspiration to your age group and to all of us who read your story. Your children will probably be curious about your mother and why she's not around. That she's not a good life example might be all that's necessary to say.

My children have asked especially my oldest (Liviana) because she is around more people in her class or whatever talk about their grandma's... I have not lied to her like say she is died or anything like that because I am hoping one day I will see her again not so much as I want to confront her about that but more about I want to prove to her that my life moved on and turned out to be pretty good... I just tell her and my twins that a long time ago me and grandma got into a big fight and that I moved to great-papa's house and that she live far away and it is hard for me to see her... but Liviana asks more about her daddy because even though she call my husband daddy and he has legally adopted her she knows that is not her real dad. I do lye to her about that for now because a 8 year old doesn't need to know everything about what happened... so I tell her that I had something bad happen to me when I was young but that something wonderful happened because of it... and that is her.

As for the weird part it is kind of a joke between my husband and I he calls me weird all the time because I am very quirky, and he thinks my name is spelled weird ( he thins it should be spelled Kelsey not see) but then he let me name our twins Dalanee and Davanee ( both with an ee at the end) but I call him a dork all the time so we are even

Wow you are amazing :D, so much strength. Keep at it man, your girls need to see that to be able to know to not get abused and to be honest with you if anything like that ever happens (God forbid).<br />
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Wow, I hope your children, all of them bring happiness and joy to you the way no other will. God bless you :)

My kids are my life, I am super protective of them though sometimes my husband has to tell me to back off... But I hope and pray that nothing bad ever happens to them

You have an amazing strength to be able to go through this. I'm really glad that your grandpa supported you. Your mother was wrong in so many ways, and I don't think she deserves forgiveness. God bless, I hope things will work out with you!

Besides my kids and husband my grandpa is my everything... we has always been there for me... And thing are working out I am in college working on my masters... and living a good life

So often your hear of young women raped or abused by family members and then not believed and punished. You are a courageous woman with a future. Thanks for sharing your story.

Thank you that means a lot to me...