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I Don't Forgive My Mom

i know we r supposed to forgive and forget, but i cannot forgive my mom and i blame my parents for much of my past problems. when i was 14 and raped by my bf the first time i had sex, when i got home a couple of hours past my curfew and told my parents, my mother called me a *****. they blamed me, saying it was my fault for being at a 19yo boys house alone like that and said i was trying to blame him for missing my curfew. as punishment for missing my curfews, my mother would kick me out of the house for a week at a time, that being the first time it happened. i guess she thought it would teach me a lesson struggling to make it on my own, but kicking me out of the house with no where to go and no friends or family support only lead to my bf often selling me to other guys for sex. that experience alone changed my view of sex, it was no longer sacred, and after a while i no longer cared who the guys were, how old they were, what the guys looked like that i had to let touch me and let *** inside me; my feelings became numb though still always guilty and ashamed of what i was doing, but i blame my mother most of my problems that resulted from my childhood and teen years.
jenn2 jenn2 41-45, F 11 Responses Dec 2, 2011

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Kicking you out of the house? That's terrible! My daughter screwed up many times, so she lost the car keys, or was "grounded" many times, but I never would have kicked her out of the house. That is so counterproductive.

To bad your reacted that way, she is suposed to support you

That is too bad. My wife started ******* at 14 but she was not raped. Her boyfriend was 16

What a ***** she was.

yes she was & sad

wow that is sad..i would not forgive any of them..i hope things are better for you now

It is a shame that this happen to you and I fully understand the resentment for your mother. Sorry that you went through this, but I'm sure that it helped you become the person you are today. I just wish when it happened that your parents had taken your side and supported you.

Sex at that age should have been a meaningful act of passion. Instead it became an act of violence. It's hard to pass judgement on someone you don't know, but i think in this case, I really don't blame how you are feeling. Your mom should have extended you some passion and consideration in your mental state at the time. The worst thing I can think of is a woman being taken without her consent. <br />
Another thing is your boyfriend needed to be taken to the woods and taught how to treat a woman. The best thing that could have happened to him would be him being sent to prison and raped on a daily basis. Just the way I feel.

A child being taken without her consent is bad also. Believe me, I have had personal experience in that department and my mother was no better than hers....It's sad when parents don't protect their own children and don't care about their well being. They are supposed to be our protectors and role models. What's worse is that they fail us, and then have the audacity to blame us.....

It's certainly not my place to judge anyone,but I can certainly understand why you feel the way you do.I'm not saying I agree with you or disagree with you for blaming your mom,but I can't help but support your right to feel this way.I'm sure most of us,if we were in your shoes,would have the same if not very similar feelings.

Severe abuse for sure, but forgiving her is about helping you, not her..

Quite often we as parents mess up. With that said I am ashamed how your parents handled this problem. Your very much in the right, your should not forgive them for the way they handled this. There is so much damage done to you the child when there is no support and help to figure out what happened to you. It just ****** me off to no end when parents treat their kids with no respect. You did nothing to deserve to be used like that. I hope you can find your way back to your true self.

think if god can forgive ,hey so can we :) . like someone said it would be better for you

It sounds to me like she was to blame. What kind of mother kicks her child out, or blames her for being raped?? She sounds like the sister to my mother. My mother slept with the guys I was dating behind my back...........I am not a forgive and forget person either, so I don't blame you..........

I don't actually like what you have related. It's truly shocking and saddening. I hit 'like' to show support to you and others who have been through trauma of this nature.