I Can't Forgive My Mom
Dear Mom,
I've been meaning to tell you so many things for some time now, but I always seem to stumble upon these words.
How could you do it? How could you put me in the car knowing you'd had too much to drink? How could you tell me my brother isn't really my brother at all? How could you indirectly insist my very existence is an annoyance to you? How could you violate every ounce of trust dad had in you and have an affair with another man?
It's the one question I've been burning to ask you for years....but I know I won't. Because in this twisted, unfair place you're the only thing I have. And I hate that. I hate everything you've done to me, to this family. I hate the fact that I've spent so many nights crying because I wanted things to be different between us. I hate how you can parade around like you've done nothing wrong, like you haven't ruined my life in some ways.
But you want to know something completely and utterly crazy? I don't hate you. I should, but I don't. And I never will. Because despite everything you've done to me, I know you need me. I'm the only one who connects with you, understands the things that runs through your mind. I'm just like you and that scares me. But even though I hate what I've grown up around, I can't imagine my life without you here.
I've been meaning to tell you so many things for some time now, but I always seem to stumble upon these words.
How could you do it? How could you put me in the car knowing you'd had too much to drink? How could you tell me my brother isn't really my brother at all? How could you indirectly insist my very existence is an annoyance to you? How could you violate every ounce of trust dad had in you and have an affair with another man?
It's the one question I've been burning to ask you for years....but I know I won't. Because in this twisted, unfair place you're the only thing I have. And I hate that. I hate everything you've done to me, to this family. I hate the fact that I've spent so many nights crying because I wanted things to be different between us. I hate how you can parade around like you've done nothing wrong, like you haven't ruined my life in some ways.
But you want to know something completely and utterly crazy? I don't hate you. I should, but I don't. And I never will. Because despite everything you've done to me, I know you need me. I'm the only one who connects with you, understands the things that runs through your mind. I'm just like you and that scares me. But even though I hate what I've grown up around, I can't imagine my life without you here.
By:
LifeOfAGingerKid
Age:
16-17
,
Female
2
responses
