My Abusers.........

NOR DO I HAVE TO!!

Perhaps one day, the anger & bitterness will get to a point where I can let go, but I will never forgive them.....Jerry, I hope your death was painful! Kenny, I know yours was & I smile. You're the last Trevor, & the worse one. I trusted you the most, so the scars I carry from you are far deeper & hurt much more. They still bleed whenever something reminds me. You are the one that I will NEVER EVER be able to FORGIVE, & I am okay with that for now.

The most important person to forgive for all is myself. I haven't done it completely yet, but I'm getting there. See, I DESERVE the forgiveness. I apologized for any imagined wrong I may have done. I've apologized for not telling, not screaming at the top of my lungs. For making a deal with the spawn of satan. I still haven't forgiven everything, but I'm getting there. If you never ask for forgiveness, how can I give it?

It's done, it's over, & with help from my friends, you will cease to exist in my world. You will no longer be allowed to infect my soul with your poison. I'm finishing it, finally. So live in hell Trevor........It's no less than you deserve, & if by chance we ever meet again, I pray that I'll have the strength to turn away, instead of doing what I wish I could.... Hunt you down, & personally send you to your maker!!

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26-30
1 Response Mar 22, 2009

hi iam KARLA''lunnas''<br />
iam a fellow surviver of abuse . i feel ur pain being betrayd<br />
and hurt I understand ur pain even your hate<br />
for the abusers its someting you will have to<br />
some how find some kind of peace with, i was abused by my <br />
mother and father and others and i live with this daly . u will<br />
find peace with and with peace comes healing<br />
see my family didnt want to hear about it didnt want to even say the words it happend, they would say just get the hell over it and u really cant be over it its with u every day of ur life . and i feel iam sure as u do very betrayed by family. but years of councling i have come to find <br />
healing peace and forgiveness its been a long hard road by myself and its getting better every day. read some of my blogs they may help u . and one day u will stop being being angery . my prayers are with u . if u need a friend just to vent iam here for yoi and i do understand becalse <br />
ive been there . those that dont understand and judge u they havent been abused as we have .