One Thing....

This can't just be a story ....  its too hard, too painful.  It will have to come in chunks....  one of the worst things about it is feeling so ashamed.  And played.  Like, did everyone else know, and I was the one hiding behind my love for him so much that I couldn't face the truth?  I still feel so foolish --  I wish I would have had the balls to just confront the whole thing with the two of them.  I regret not having my say to them both when I caught them together.  I told him I was moving --  he freaked -- he denied anything happened other than an "emotional affair" but I knew.  I knew in my heart.  I knew when I saw them drunk together.  I just couldn't deal. 

I still have so much anger because she gloated about it over me and he denies it ever happened.  Its hard to get over something that he won't even admit he did.  It sux.  And yeah, it was the two of them but I just hate her so much.  She was supposedy a friend.  She was a bad friend and he was a worse boyfriend.

happygoddess2003 happygoddess2003
41-45, F
5 Responses Jun 6, 2008

When I was 16, I was with a girl named Danielle who was 17. She cheated on me more times than could possibly be normal. I treated her as any good guy would, with all the respect she deserved. At one point, we even talked about a future living together. Oh I can remember so vividly. She was in fact my first love.<br />
I guess that's what hurt (and continues to hurt) so much when I found out she was just playing me. She didn't even try to hide it towards the end. I was on the phone with her and then she started talking with her sister, saying "Why is it that when I try to meet new men, you date them first?" She then gasped and said "Oh my God, you didn't just hear that." to me. After hearing that, I just shouted angrily at her "#%&$ YOU DANIELLE!!!"<br />
After I'd moved away, an old friend decided to tell me that she had cheated on me with about 5 different guys. Had sex with 4. Also, she spread a rumor about me killing myself over her (obviously I am still alive). Another thing she spread was that I was a homosexual with HIV. Neither are true. So, my point is that after being hurt so much by just one person my trust of everyone has become an illusion. No matter how good someone is to me, I can't trust them one bit. Danielle single-handedly made it impossible to have a meaningful relationship. Couple that with sexual abuse from your grandpa and you have yourself one seriously &%#$%@ up person as far as trust issues go. To give you an idea of how severe it is, I've made about 12 attempts on my own life.<br />
I can't help you overcome being cheated on with kind words, but hopefully you'll remember the story of Paul Frazier and feel at least a little elated that it could have been so much worse.

Ouch. Your a strong person for doing this on your own. If you can deal with this you can handle anything. Your a survivor. Listen to some Destiny's child nice and loud and be proud that you came out on top. Not a door mat. You left behind 2 people who hurt you. And you deserve to be on top not drowning in misery. Let them feel ashamed of what they did to you. You did nothing to deserve hurt like that.<br />
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Be strong and eventually we (I too am learning to let go) can be sooo much stronger than we ever were..:) Think about that cuz its true. Something to be proud of in the end.

I know my ex hates his uncle for cheating on his wife but my thinks its okay because supposedly they were just friends and nothing happened

this is a lot to deal with but they say truth can run a marathon and lies a short distance and you will come out of this a winner.

You will get over it some day. But they will always have to live with who they are, untrustworthy deceivers. How awful that must be!