Cheated On Twice and Possibly More

I was married for 25 years to the same man but our marriage ended.  As far as I know he never cheated on me and I never cheated on him.  

However, my next relationship was horrible and I'm still suffering the after effects. 

After dating this man for some time we finally decided to move in together.  He was having it rough financially and I thought it would ease both of our burdens to just live together. 

He claimed his financial problems were due to his divorce and I was foolish enough to believe him and paid off some of his credit card bills and also financed a truck for him. 

Four months after moving in with him I found out that he had had an ongoing affair with another woman the entire time we were dating and kept it going after he moved in with me. 

I also found out he had had some encounters with other men.  

I was devastated to say the least.  I hold my sexual encounters for only those people I feel I am in love with and I don't fall in love often!  I'm also concerned about contracting STD's.  

By then I was so far in debt over him and had been lied to about his income (another story ensuing on this situation) and was afraid to put him out of my home because I knew it would be certain bankruptcy for me because he wouldn't be able to maintain his normal living expenses along with paying for the things I had financed for him. 

I finally had had enough of the verbal and emotional abuse he was putting me through and determined that bankruptcy was preferable to the hell I was living in with him. 

I put him out in June of this year.  As of July he had a "roommate" living with him, a woman of course.  To cut this story short, as my time is limited right now, I just found out from his "roommate" that they had had an ongoing affair since April while he was still living in my home.  He had told her and his family that we were sleeping in separate beds, which was untrue and his family condoned the affair.  I have tried to talk to his family members to tell them the truth but they throw their hands up in the air and say they don't want involved.  However, they were involved because they allowed themself to be lied to by him and knew about the affair with her. 

He even tried to entice her to come to my home while I was at work and have sex in OUR bed.  She finally found out that he was still calling me, text messaging and emailing me confessing his love for me, telling me he had made a horrible mistake by allowing this woman/roommate to move in with him because she wanted more than just living together and she left him too. 

As of today I'm not sure if she went back with him or has been arrested for retailiation with him as she had been calling me regularly but the last two days she hasn't called or returned my calls.  

It's a horrible situation either way.  I believe he solicited the affair with her just so he would have a financial nest to fall back on when and if I put him out... which I did. 

She gave up her apartment to move in with him into a tin can of a trailer and the last I knew was living with friends.  

This man has no remorse for what he has done to either of us.   

golotomer golotomer
2 Responses Oct 15, 2008

Sweetie you will get out of debt and things will get better. I am sorry for what that fool put you through, but do not give him any more of your thought life. Good things are around the corner. -lily

i am sorry you went through that. i know how you feel. i know you meant only well when you tried to help him out financially. i have definitely been there. its hard to tell someone you love no i wont help you.