Given All The Love I Can GiveAfter being in a relationship for a year, My ex then toyed with my emotions for the past 2 years after that. Up to a few days ago. Even though he is no longer in my life, has a new girlfriend and what not- I feel like he still has some power over me. And I know, someone doesnt have the power unless you give it to them, right?
Its not that I want to get back with him, because I dont. Its just that he screwed with my mind and my heart for the past 3 years, and now whenever I start to like someone, or feel anything for someone, I shut it off and run away. Like, we have been broken up a year ago last august (about a year and a half) and Im still letting this effect me- my new relations- and my emotions.
I hadnt seen him in about a year and half, and hadnt spoke with him in about 2 months, and we actually met up a few days ago. And once again he's toying with my emotions.
I dont know how to let go. But whats werid is that its not like I WANT to be with him, or even talk to him for that matter! He is one of the biggest jerks I have ever met- and I know that he's bad for me, as a friend, or a boyfriend. So if I know all of this, then why do I still let him get to me? Why do I still let him bother me? And why the hell cant i just get over it, and over what he put me through and let go and move on!? I wish i could say "**** it" and really mean. Its like I dont know how.
Im my own worse enemy.