How Could He

It was always the bottom line for him. Always, made a HUGE deal about cheating. Anyone we knew that cheated, he would write them off. So disrespectful etc etc.. he held it against me for hooking up with certain guys Before we started dating, and After he broke up with me (before we got back together)

He went away for the weekend, then disapeared up north for ten days without telling me, only sending me texts at night - being normal none the less, "i love you more' " i need a cuddle'
when he came back, it was as if he was walking on ice or something, waiting for me to explode and I couldnt understand. I asked about it, he just said "he was having a good summer. Maybe too much fun" i didnt think anything of it.  He came back a different person, he wasnt the guy I love. You know, when your alone with them they act so different? You act silly together, and all cute  - do cute voices? We always had so much fun like that, literally whenever we were together we would just laugh non stop. He came home and was a different person, it hurt me. It really did. Especially because the night before he came home he had told me he would be arriving on the monday at 8 pm.. by 9 i hadnt heard from him. so i called, and got a text response " sorry wont be coming home tonight" naturally i started worrying, asking what happened and he said "nothings changed baby"
The next day i saw him, it was so different. I didnt understand. He started crying in my bed, and in the middle of the night sent me a text saying maybe we can talk this week. i didnt think anything of it.  I obviously started hysterically crying thinking he was ending it,.. but he didnt. We just didnt talk for Four days. Until 3 am on the fourth night, saying "want to come sleep over"
I was in pieces, so anxious and worrying, working myself up to the point i was physically sick. It was as if he just decided our relationship was nothing. (Oh, we have a three year on and off history - he fell in love with me three years ago, im the only girl hes ever been with - but have been dating for the past year and a half)
Eventually, i sat him down to talk to him about it. He kept saying nothing happened, nothing changed, he didnt know why he was acting like that, repeating it over and over. then said he loved being with me, as in person, but ahted all the "**** on the side' aka calling me back.. responding to messages.. respecting me..
We broke up that night, but it was a good break up, we wanted to stay good friends. I found out last night he cheated on me. With his best friends sister. Who is 15. And has the same name as me.
We are 18.

How. How could he. I am in shock. I stupidly made the impulsive decision to get back at him and hooked up with said best friend (no, i didnt sleep with him or even do anything of the sort). The ex found out this morning, flipped saying i was a joke, swearing, calling me terrbile names. i said "atleast i have the balls to tell you" and he said "whats that supposed to mean'.. and then continued to act like he didnt know what i was talking about. Eventually i said stop acting like a ***** your hurting us both and i dont want to end up hating you. We both know I know what happened, and I deserve to know the truth.

his response? "you'll never hate me cutie, ya we'll get coffee. Whatever works"

He was my everything. Best firend boyfriend.. everything. he controlled my life. no decisions were made without finding out his plans first. He told me no guy was allowed to touch me next year at university (were going to the same university, same residence, and yes we were always going to break up before school started)


his entire grade knew. Everyone saw. No one told me. No one stopped it.
I break out into a cold sweat just thinking about it. I want to hurt him, to **** him off. I don't want to let him control my life anymore.
I don't know what to do, to slap him and be hysterical like I want to, or to just act indifferent when i see him, just asking for the details then being vague and changing the subject.

anniebean anniebean
18-21, F
Jul 11, 2010