Cant Get Over Cheating Ex Boyfriend.. Should I Regret Leaving?

Went out with a guy for over 2 years. He was the most thoughtful and caring guy Ive ever went out with..but he cant seem to say the words 'I love you". When asked he would just say he cant say what he cant feel so I waited.
A few months before our 2nd anniversay I caught him emailing and texting another girl fom the internet whom he has plans of meeting up with if I havent discovered. Said he's just depressed as he has been goin thu difficult times and me always havin problems with work and friends isnt helping.. So I believe him..But Have to admit havent really trusted him fully ever since and just a few months ago I caught him signing on this dating site. He doesnt wanna admit it so I made a phony profile and started emailing him and we started talkin without him knowing its me.. Then I confronted him over the phone and broke up with him.. Told him I dont ever wanna see his face again.. he hasnt bothered ever since and the next time I saw him he was his new girl and his housemate says its better for me to just forget about him and move on.
I know I shouldnt fe feeling bad as I know he cheated on me but it doesnt erase the pain that Im feeling. Just makes me wanna regret breaking up with him and obsessing on thoughts that If I just stick with him maybe things could have been better.
Ive tried everything to keep myself busy but still cant help feel depressed and obsessing bout him and his new girl..
Dont know what to do anymore..
Please advise.
weebabe5 weebabe5
31-35, F
10 Responses Jul 18, 2010

Put things into perspective, the issue was clearly his to begin with. He felt as if he could not commit so he kept his distance from people and avoided you when you confronted him about his cheating ways.

Putting things into perspective you are you and you live your own life with your own story. He was a chapter but now you have to move onto whats next which is as it always should have been: about you and what you want.

I just broke up with my boyfriend, we dated for over 4 years, the last year was long distance since he had to move away cos of work. i got bored one day and decided to make up a fake facebook profile and invite him, he started to chat to this "girl" then "she" invited him on mxit, they chatted till 3am , thats when i could not take it anymore, i tried to remain calm altho all i wanted to do was rip is head of. i called him that night and told him i was flying up to talk to him. i know it may seem silly but when youve been dating a guy for 4years these simple things can drive u crazy. anyway the next morning i left, got thier confronted him about it and he still denied it , thinking that i jus hacked onto his facebook , i was hoping by that time he would jus come out and tell the truth but he jus stuck to his story. i eventually told him that the girl was me and he was in shock, then he started saying that i dont show him any attention and its MY fault. <br />
i could not stop crying, and i cried everyday day that week. but now after a week lol .....i realise that i dont ever wana be in a relationship like that , i dont wana be insecure , i dont wana be checking up on him 24/7 , our relationship was never like that , and thats wat i valued most about our relationship TRUST. and now that its broken i cant go back <br />
Why should i settle for someone that doesnt respect or love me enough to be faithfull. Life is too short and too precious for me to live like that. <br />
<br />
U rather be alone and happy than be with someone that makes you feel like there second choice. all women deserve the best so DO NOT settle.<br />
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it will take time to get over the relationship but with prayer and God by your side , all things are possible. Remember that God will comfort and guide you through this , you jus have to allow him to carry the burden

well today i have found for 8 months my bpyfriend was on a dating site lookin for casual sex long and short distance relationship. i made a tough decision that i dont need him in my life. it hurts but i know time will heal and i know there is someone out there for me who will treat me right. keep myself busy by going to movies and reading lots of books

I was in a relationship for 1.5 years. First girlfriend, plans on marrying her. I gave up my soul and heart, head over heels etc. after different reasons we both agreed to let down our walls again and love each other fully (not sure if she did)I trusted her to go out to lunch with a guy, and later found out it was the 'guy' who she cheated with. I never knew for how long or if she stopped loving me during the relationship, because she basically made excuses to avoid seeing me for an entire week. I went into her email (gave me her pw lol) and tracked a strange ip address, sure enough it was the same 'guy'. in less than a week later after I had to brake up, she was in a new relationship with the same 'guy'. So I understand your pain and suffer, from going to being completely in love to betrayed. My next advice if your gut tells you something is wrong, listen to it because chances are that its right. Also if he or she isn't smart enough to change email pw's (dont tell them) monitor it while in a relationship, I know its excessive but look for clues if you can. like every other user is saying some one will be bound to pop in replace, more loyal and loving :)

I just broke up with my boyfriend too aftter almost 3 years together, and plans of marriage. He cheated on my once in the first year we were together, but because I loved him so much I forgave him, I wanted to believe he could change. And he did for a year and a half until today I found out again he slept with someone else. Im currently in denial as I don't quite know how to deal with it, especially the fact that we have been living together for the past 2 years... I'm taking baby steps... very small baby steps for now. Its weird.. I dont even feel angry towards him, just sad that he couldnt be the person I saw he could be... if only he was strong enough.

I just left someone who had never really left his ex, still visited her, paid her money, etc.etc. got me to move to his house, then when I got there started having sex with someone else which I found out about, left immediately. He is not a youngster neither am I, I still feel very upset by it though, I guess it is the loss of our ideal of the person we thought we loved, loved us - a dream killed. So course we are going to feel bad for a while.

Sorry just joined this site, but I am in a similar situation and everyone's comments here have helped me along. Thank you x

Don't sell yrself short! U can do better! Hope u feel better soon!

Unfortunately, there is no magic formula to bypass heartbreak. Just know, (even if you don't feel it in your heart right now), that you really are better off without someone who lies to you and takes you for granted and remember that this pain will fade away in time. You've been given a the opportunity to find that someone who can tell you they love you and really mean it. Best to you. LB

I dated a guy that cheated on me allll the time. And i kept on letting myself get hurt. Take it from me: you are soooo much better off. You will find a guy who is ten times better who will never cheat on u. Go out and flirt. Forgot about his dumbass, go to a place where guys hang, and just let lose and have fun. But if ure not up for it, hang with frends, workout, and find a hobby.. It will slowly fade away.. I promise. :)