I Dont Know How To Express My Self

my boyfriend of 18 months cheated on me

he was homeless and like i read his texts on his phone and there was a unknown number

saying are still in my bed or did you leave around 4 am
then he told me  he got kicked out of a store parking lot cuz idkhe just got kicked out and this girl was like hey ou cant stay at my work anymore my boss is getting mad sryy

and said some other things

and i confronted him about it and he denyed it and told me some sappy excuse and we were fine till hoalloween and he left me for another girl!!!! and i dont know why but a month later i took him back and then he left for the Marines

and he came back and was totally different he hung out with his firends ghot drunk alot and then he inited his old highschool friends over that were girls around 2 am in the morning he would hide and delete texts from people and he would be given girls numbers and **** and talking to them and he was just an *******

and i ididnt beleve it but iwas on my myspace and i went on his profile and went onto this girls profile that i thought was the girl he was cheating on with while hew as homeless and i looked at the number and it was the same one

idk im so irate right now and i dont know what to im totally exhasuted from everything that is happen i wanna cryand scream but im so tired from it all im tired of everything i just wish this didnt happen to me it makes me feel ugly and disguting and used and betrayed im hurting but i cant cry i feel hot and over whelmed with hate and angry im trying to stay calm before i go to bed but its not working i just need to vent i hate him and i cant beleive i just didnt leave him after he left me for that girl at that part im so stupid i deserve so much better!!! im glad i found this site to vent out my anger but i dont know what to do still im so hurt but i knew and i feel so stupid for just going along like nothing was wrong and being fake i feel so disgusted like i need to take   50 showerss ughhh  and tested cuz that girl looked disgustingg

ughhhhhhhh thanks for listening i just needed to to ventt
MarineGirlfriend91 MarineGirlfriend91
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 5, 2010

haha yea im straight all clean cuz im not a ***** lmfao but yea im getting a new boyfriend that is for sure