Do I Still Love Him?
My name is Amber. Let me start from 2 weeks before christmas, 2007....
My boyfriend, Bryan, had told me he had gone to a party late at night, and stayed over night. I knew something wasn't right. We kept arguing over what really happened. He then asked me one day, "Why can't you just trust me? I was partying with my friends. If I'm not allowed to do this, then your f*ckin crazy!"
The guilt trip. Oh, how good Bryan is at this.
It didn't work long, however, since I found out he had really stayed the night with a girl. I found this out through MYSPACE of all things!! she had written him a message about he he swore he loved her, about how he swore she wouldn't get hurt, and how she loved him so much and was crying cuz she couldn't stand sharing him. Me and bryan had been dating 4 months, he and her only 2 weeks (not that that makes it better). i confronted him, we argued... a lot.
now, ive forgiven him, atleast i told him i did, but i have my doubts. it's been 3 months since then, but im still unsure if i still love him romatically. i want to. jesus i want to so bad, but there's this ice barrier around my heart now. im suspicious of every girl, even his sister in law (then again, she has cheated). he's cried because i have told him that i hate him half the time. god i HATE him for what he did, but good lord i love him so much the other half of the time. take right now, for instance, i love him so much and i care about him so much, but later when im trying to sleep ill remember what he did to me... and ill want to put my fist through a wall.
how can i figure out if i still love him romantically? please give me advice on how to move passed this... ill never forgive him, but i need to put it behind me.