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Lost In Thought...

Well here is my story....

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year and a half and we've had our fair share of ups and downs. And let be honest we're both in college and the chances of us actually lasting are slim to none.... but none the less I gave him everything I had. I guess that who I am when I get into a relationship I devote everything to them not necicrrally in a bad way but he knew how to manipulate me in a way that I started putting my relationship ahead of my friendships... and that should have never happened....

But we started this last semester really strong I felt like I could trust him completely and I felt like our relationship was on a new level but only a month in, I left for a swimming competition. I was gone for three days.... Well the day I left he cheated on me with the girl I go to school with.... Small school so of course I see her everyday now. But after he finally admitted to what happened.. or so he says it everything and he says it doesn't include sex... I've been trying to forgive him....

Yes it's only been a month so things are still rough and hard to deal with but... how can someone do that to another person when they say they care so much? I just don't think I'll ever be able to understand. I hate it sooo much with every fiber of my body and I love him so I want to try and make things work but... do you forgive someone after they do that? After they throw away your feelings and forget all that they said ever meant anything... I just dont think it's truly possible.

I would love for some advice on how to maybe approach this situation... Like I said before I put a lot of my friends aside for this relationship and I haven't quite cut all the ties with him and they dont understand. They all tell me I can do better and that it's not worth my time but I care about him so much. I guess I'm hoping an outside opinion will help me figure all of this out.

freelife freelife 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 22, 2008

Your Response


Honey, you're young.<br />
He's young. Unfortunately women mature a whole lat faster than males. <br />
I know you probably think you love him. <br />
<br />
But after 1.5 years, I believe you should cut your losses and move on. <br />
<br />
<br />
I was with my man for 8 years, just celebrated our anniversary, and I found out he was being unfaithful, lying about it, and when I confronted him denial. <br />
He has yet to respond even though I know dates, names phone numbers and specific details of his encounters.<br />
<br />
That just tells me he never loved me.<br />
After 8 years.<br />
<br />
I cannot trust him<br />
<br />
<br />
I can not allow myslef to remain here with him. Its so unsafe for me.<br />
Can you imagine getting an std or worse?<br />
<br />
<br />
Its not worth the pain.<br />
Its not worth the heart ache.<br />
<br />
Ill hurt now. <br />
<br />
but in the long run I'll be stronger.

Is this something serious enough that if you leave for more competitions or such that you will worry what he is doing? If it was something minor like she stole a kiss from him and that was all I wouldn't worry too much. Anything more than that and I would worry. No, if he truly felt love for you he could never do something like cheat on you. Love is unconditional, kind, generous, and all-consuming. You just can't help but think of the person you love . If you really love him and know for SURE that he feels the same for you its worth it to try to work things out.