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So Very Confused.

My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me, we have one little girl together. It was around April that he broke up with me, & a week later I found out that he got with his co-worker that he's been talking to for a while, claiming that they're only friends & that she has a boyfriend already. Well a couple month later in August, he came back to me. He said he misses me, he loves me, & things like that, So I took him back, he told me that he stopped talking to her, he doesn't want anything to do with her, he wants to fix our relationship up, he told me that he told her that he's back with me. I believed him, cause I thought he really meant it. But a month after I found out that he was still talking to her, On his phone he replaced her name with a guy name. So I got curious, & read the texts, & that's when I knew it was her. I confronted him about it asking him who was this person really, he lied to me saying it was just a guy friend that he works with. & then I started bitching, that's when he told me it was her. So I took his phone & bitched at her..& ever since then he never talked to her again. & he swore on our daughter that he will never do that again. It's been a couple month already, from what I know he haven't talk to her but I just can't forget about what he did. & i'm wondering if I didn't snoop around his phone, would he still be talking to her. I don't know what to do, I keep thinking about  what he did with her, how he lied to me, how he barely came to see his daughter during our break up. No matter how hard I tried to forget, I just can't. It hurts..
lynndurh lynndurh 18-21, F 12 Responses Nov 21, 2011

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Ive been in a relationship for 2 years we have a 8month old child but back in feb on a night out he cheated on me and come back the next day with love bites on his neck he keeps telling me he never slept with her but i really in my heart dont believe him should i leave with my son or stick about and maybe he would tell me the truth im soo stuck annny help please?????

thinking clear what do you want from him, and move on to a better man.

I know kinda how you feel my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now, and he is in the MIlitary and when he comes home we planned on getting married. A few weeks ago I had told him I cheated on him in high school, he broke up with me called me everything u can think of, I knew it was wrong and i wanted a life with him full of happiness and I could not do that with a secret. well, come to find out he cheated on me before I cheated on him, with a random girl that was here on vacation, he told me what happened and i forgave him, then the next day he slipped up and made a comment and I found out he didn't tell me the whole truth and he had sex with the girl. I really don't know what to do. I know he probably feels the same way, but I'm the one who confessed and he admitted he was never going to tell me...now im not sure of what to do anymore..

I got with my boyfriend on June 4, 2010. He said he wasn't talking with any other girls, so I decided to give him a chance. I started getting phone calls in December, and it was a girl saying she was his girlfriend. However she was acting just retarted, so I wasn't sure if it was true. So I confronted him about it and he said I don't know who would do that to you. Turns out it was this girl he was talking to in the beggining of our relationship. He had a one night stand with her "before" we got together supposibly. So I forgot about it. In Janurary I found out I was pregnant and so was this girl. My boyfriend was in Jail from Decemember 22-27. She was calling me once again. I finally got the number from my boyfriend,after he got outta jail, he said he got her number from his "friend" I don't believe that, I know he had it. But anyways I called her and asked nicely why she keeps calling me, however she denided it. She had the same voice as the person who kept calling, so I knew it was her. She told me to leave her alone cause she was pregnant, but she didnt know I was pregnant. So finally once again I forgot about it and moved on. So I met this friend in college while I was pregnant and I told her everything, turned out she knew the girl. She said that the gitl claimed to have hooked up with him several times and even thought the baby was his at one point. But she wasnt sure cause she was with him and another guy around the same time. So for a year straight I kept on and on about this girl to my boyfriend. He denied it and denied it. He even SWORE on our babygirl that he didn't cheat. Until finally this January he admitted to cheating with her once when he got out of jail. I was sooo upset. I knew it was true, but finally hearing it come from his mouth hurt ten times worse. I wanted every detail, and I got it, which made it worse. He said they talked for the first month we were going out, she had a boyfriend as well. And they she texted him in december when he got out of jail, "out of the blue". Then he went to her house and he cheated. I don't know what to believe. I just want to get over it :( Annny advice???

I'm slowly getting over it, but as soon as something reminds me of him cheating, these memories just keep rushing back. So far, he isn't do anything. I'm super paranoid. <br />
But I still cant trust him in a way. I want to leave him, I can't be happy with him if I'm always paranoid &amp; I still can't fully move on. I don't know why I can't just dump him :/

I'm slowly getting over it, but as soon as something reminds me of him cheating, these memories just keep rushing back. So far, he isn't do anything. I'm super paranoid. <br />
But I still cant trust him in a way. I want to leave him, I can't be happy with him if I'm always paranoid &amp; I still can't fully move on. I don't know why I can't just dump him :/

My boyfriend of three years cheated on me with a work collegue. I found out because he was acting really wired with his phone and we were not seeing much of each other anymore. We live together and while he was doing what he was doing he came home every night and told me that he loved me and we had sex like normal. I found out by looking at his phone records and calling this number that kept coming up, It was a women my heart broke she told me everything, that he said he was single and was living with his brother. After i found out he cried soo much and told me that he did not want anyone else and he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. <br />
<br />
I still love him so so much and i want the same future with him, but my heart is hurting so much. He is saying that he wishes he could turn back time and realise just how much he cares for me. He is now finding it really hard to come to terms with what he has done and is saying his head is all over the place with guilt. <br />
I asked him why he did what he did. he said he does not know why and he was f****** up and was caught in a trance . is this a good enough reason ???<br />
<br />
I dont know what to do.

My boyfriend said the EXACT same thing. How weird. I don't have any clue what to do as well, it's so hard. And plus we have a 6 month old together.

iI know how you really feel,it hurts each time your mind crosses the thoughts of your man having sex with someone else. well you belived he was your man" until you found out different.I AGREE with the title, SOCIOPATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. MY boyfriend of 5+ yrs cheated on me with his exs, a ********, and GOD knows whoelse. MY heart was hurting when i first found out,but he continue to lie and say he has never cheated on me.Even after, i found him at the ***** club,coming out of a room with a ********. I PRAY each day for GOD'S deliverance from this deception in my life, that i have allowed to go on for what seems like a lifetime. SIGN---SINCERELY,WORKING ON GETTING PASS THIS PROBLEM .

Oh honey, I am sorry to hear about this. You need to move on and be careful about who you let into your life.

" I don't know what to do, I keep thinking about  what he did with her, how he lied to me, how he barely came to see his daughter during our break up. No matter how hard I tried to forget, I just can't. It hurts"<br />
<br />
I want to apologize for my selfish reply to your post. You asked for help and I just spouted off with my issues. I'd like to help, so here's my thoughts on this:<br />
Men are so sociopathic. Let me rephrase-- CHEAtERS are sociopathic. They lie without consideration or remorse for the person they're lying to, to save their a**. As soon as they get CAUGHT- they MAY tell the whole story, but it's rare. In order to change ones behavior- one has to get completely honest with oneself. Cheaters cheat again and again and again because they ARE Sociopathic. They don't CARE about the other persons feelings- they only care if they get caught. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I just recently heard a saying that I love because it's so true- <br />
"You experience what you allow". Harsh, but true. Have you given any thought to losing this loser?

This is actually pretty common. Saying that it is only men is a bit harsh, as I am I man I have some what of the same issue. See for me it's just as hard, I was with my girlfriend for three years and while I was at bootcamp she cheated on me with another man. It was only just a few kisses and a one night deal, but I can't even seem to get over that little problem. Now I know people who are happily married that have accepted their partner cheating. I can't seem to do it however. Maybe it is the fact I have never been dumped or denied by any woman in my entire life that makes it so hard to face the fact I was cheated on. Either way, I would say not to do it for a third time. My advice however hard it is to say no, just say no. People can change, but if he didn't make a good enough effort to change then...he most likely won't in the future. Trust is a major key to a relationship, and once that is broken I don't personally believe it ever fully heals.

Wow, this sounds exactly what I'm going through. His sl** texted me in New Years Eve (!) <br />
He claims they just talk at work, and told me her Mom died 5 days before Christmas and he's been confiding in her about his Dad dying last year. He confided in ME when we were broken up, came crying to ME that he missed me. Now he's pulling that card with HER?! I hope his Dad up in Heaven is planning on this a**holes Karma. Why are boys such jerks?!