Will I Stay Or Will I Go?

     My boyfrind of 8 years cheated on me almost two years ago, and I still can't let it go because I feel like he is still doing it.   I thought that he may have been cheating so I changed the voicemail password and checked the messages( it was my phone, but he was using it) and I heard a message from a woman.  My heart stopped.  I had told everyone that warned me that he was not cheating, but deep down inside I knew he was.  Anyway, I called the woman and she got an attitude with me and it blew up from there.  To make a long story short, I went to his house and beat his butt.  Then he called me and begged for me to come back or he was going to kill himself.  I took him back, but only because I did not want her to have him.  He had met this woman at a place he did A/C work and had sex with her and eventually moved in with her.  She kept calling and driving by his house and then she would call while I was over, and finally she stopped.  Now, everytime, I say something about her, he seems to get upset.  Like if I call her out of her name.  Then today he said that her son goes to Iraq next month.....why does he care?  He said it is not about her, but he got close to her son.  Her son and my boyfriend are the same age.  She is almost the same age as his mom.  I don't know how much longer I can take this.  I had a miscarriage(second one) a week after this happened.  I didn't know I was pregnant at the time.  Now, mail is coming to his house with baby stuff and she was on medical leave a few months ago.  I know because he told me a co worker told him.  I don't think I can forgive him if she had a babuy and my baby died.  I am so thinking about just ending this relationship no matter how long we have been together.  I need someone to talk to.  All of my friends hate him because of what he did to me after all the stuff that I have been through with him.  I am so confused.04e77
Silintype77 Silintype77
4 Responses May 16, 2012

No no not in my house in her car. He left and didn't tell me. I'm a heavy sleeper and I didn't notice until I went onto his Facebook one day to find out his friends last name and there was the messages between her and him. He hasn't talked to her since then I don't think. But I keep thinking about it. I feel like I'm not good enough for him. When in reality I know I'm better then him because I stayed. But idk anymore what to do

Im here if u need someone to talk to, i've been through the same thing, caught my ex cheating 3times {although i know there was more} oh and with my friend!! each time i caught him i'd leave him for about a month ,he'd come back begging and id think he learned his lesson... BUT PLEASE and i mean PLEASE don't buy into "he changed" from what i went through if he cheated he'll do it again. If he wasn't selfish he would've thought about u before he cheated. hes a jerk and your much better off without him. <br />
this might sound a bit dumb but when i left him i was soo depressed and felt like my life was over but then one day i took a nice long bath and burn all his pictures with a candle, and from that moment on i moved on.

I'm right there with you. I found out yesterday that my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last week with his ex. I was heart broken and I can't leave. I am comfortable with my relationship and I love him so much. I just never thought this would happen. But it has and I find myself having no will power to leave. We live together and he had sex with her while I was sleeping. I am afraid to even sleep now because I'm afraid he will do it again. He told me that he told his ex to never talk to him again but I don't know if he really did

I would love to talk to you sometimes. He had sex with her inthe same house while you were sleeping?

oh my that's horrible! I couldn't sleep in the same bed that he slept with her on for 2 months. I was so livid. I'm so sorry that happened. Trust is gonna be the hardest to build back up :(

I know just how you feel. I can't turn to my friends anymore because I've lost them from staying with him. And my bf gets mad at me too that I bring it up and it's been 2 years. I just cannot get over it. Every time I try to he does something odd that I have to question him then he gets mad and tells me I'm overreacting. I think you and I are just comfortable with our relationships therefore we don't want to go. I've realized at least that much but the only thing keeping me here is the time I invested. I'm here if you need to talk and work through this.

I am here for you as well. Just yesterday he did not answer the phone and he said that when he tried to call me his phone wouldn't dial the number. I told him that that sound like such a lie. I just don't believe a word he says now.

Yeah he had the same story for me too. He said that his touch phone wasn't working. Ha ok lol About a week ago, we broke up. I'm having a hard time accepting it since it was so out of the blue but there's a part of me that knows that it's good that it's over. I don't think I could have done it myself since I love him so much so I just try to keep telling myself that what he did for me will ultimately benefit me in the long run. I mean its super hard right now but there has to be 1 guy out there from the billions of people that will mesh better with me right?