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Painful And Overwhelmed

I just found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with random online women and couples. I thought he was the ONE and had given my heart over to him without hestitation. I am crippled by the pain. I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on anything. My heart is broken.....
NeedtoMoveOn2012 NeedtoMoveOn2012 51-55 2 Responses Aug 5, 2012

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Oh, I remember those "talks" .. Still having them lol.. I know how you feel !!.. I didn't either !! Lol I have no idea if I'm Gona take him back but I do know that it's always worth the fight. And ypu have to go with how you feel and no one else. If you want to stay, and work at it then do it! But just know it takes a lot of work.. Is he up for that?.. You'll find out. And you won't believe what you're capable of! I'm almost 50 ( in December ) and starting all over again .. We can do anything!!

I know exactly how you feel! I was with my boyfriend for over eleven years, only to find out he's been with so many and I was crushed! I lost weight, sleep and my sanity. Now after a year he is trying to slink back and I still love him, but can't trust him. It takes time and only you can determine if he's right for you and if he's willing to put in the work! Maybe, I really don't know, but maybe it can work. But right now I feel like he's had all the fun and I'm left with nothing but him saying the grass wasn't greener. We'll see what happens..good luck, it does get better

Meinnh: Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am doing a bit better today but still wonder if I am going to wake up from a bad dream. How did you get through the year? I feel rejected and even though I know he has problems, I still wonder if I could of done something differently. Tonight we are going to have "the talk." I know for my health and sanity I need to say goodbye, but my heart wants him to fight for us (which he
won't). The funny thing is that I didn't even realize how much I loved him until our relationship was threatened. What are you going to do? Will you take him back?

And know you couldn't have done anything differently. Sometimes it's not about sex, but just about them and attention. It's not you!!! So please, do something good for you!! That's how I made it a year. I know you feel like you're losing it, but you won't . It's them... Just talk, no tears if you can, cuz it's not all him.. Ask yourself " do I want him?"

Thanks so much! I will let you know what happens if he even calls at all. I will do my best NOT to cry cuz he isn't worth it and I don't want to to give him the satisfaction. Can you tell that I am getting mad? I
am 51 myself. He was my first boyfriend after a long and unhapoy 30 yr marriage. He knew all of this and made me trust him. If he wanted a more casual relationship, he could of told me instead if cheat and lie.

The call is finally over and I feel much better after I was able to get some things off of my chest. He admitted to everything and didn't have much to say in the way of excuses. I think after our talk though, he realizes what he lost. I am getting some satisfaction in this at least. Now to the job of getting myself together and building a life without him. I think I will be fine except for the long nights. Those are going to be hard....Thanks for listening and letting me share. My heart is so broken but my head now tells me that life will go on without him.....

I'm so glad you feel better! Girl...you need a Mr. seahorse and your nights will be better!! Lol I found out that if the moon is right and the planets are aligned, I can be ok with a B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend..lol) but I won't lie, you'll have times where you'll be lonely, and they'll be times when you feel strong. Just go with it and take this time to figure out what YOU really want. And if it's going back with him, then so be it. But I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and that millions of women just like us, trust these guys that don't deserve our trust!.. Like you, my boyfriend made me trust him, and I always thought he would never lie because he never had to. What I didn't know, was that all part of it. When they feel like they're getting away with something, it's part of " the chase" I made it my life for an entire year to try to be the best, try to give what he wanted, and he still had to do what he had to do!! The straw that broke the camel's back, was when he gave me and two thers Fenway tickets to get us away, and that day he bought ( bc he left the receipt in the truck) condoms, wine, lube and cocoa butter massage cream. That was it!! I was done!! And told him, and he never tried to stop me! Now, of course, he's like a dog after a bone, texts, calls but can't perform bc of the guilt...so be it!! Now grant you, every day I beg for another to notice me somewhere, but the bottom line is that I love him...even a loser like him...he does have good, it's just real deep!!.. Lol..but take care, let me know how you make out and I'll do the same.

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